Chapter 2: Family Wahala For Makurdi

"Morayo, what’s all this? You dey wash clothes for the man next door?" I eyed the pile of men’s clothes my wife brought back, my face squeezed in annoyance.

I just dey stand for our parlour dey look as my wife, Morayo, bring enter basin wey full of boxers and socks, with wet patches everywhere. The basin dey drip water for our parlour tile, the smell of wet cloth and Omo soap strong for air. For our compound, people dey always look window; na so shame dey catch me. If to say na my mama see this kain thing for her days, she go fit faint.

"Husband, Baba Musa no get woman for house. Na only him and im pikin dey, e no good. As neighbours, make we help each other na," Morayo said, holding a basin full of men’s boxers and socks.

She talk am like say na normal thing. But my blood just dey boil. For this Makurdi, wetin concern agbalagba woman and her neighbour boxers? Even for Lagos, dem no dey carry help reach like that!

As I hear am, my whole body just dey shake with vex.

My mind dey race. E be like say thunder go fire pesin this night. I just dey manage my own make I no shout pass my power.

"Which family no get washing machine these days? Na so e bad reach for am to wash im own clothes?" I snapped.

This kain question suppose make sense. Abi all the money wey Baba Musa dey chop, e no fit buy washing machine?

"Hand wash dey clean pass. Washing machine no dey do the work well again," Morayo replied, smiling. "No carry am for mind, na just small things."

She con dey do as if na one small matter, her face dey shine like pesin wey win lottery. But I know say something dey wey she never talk finish.

"Exactly, man no suppose dey stingy like that," my mother-in-law, Mama Kemi, waka come, begin dey yab me say I too stingy.

This woman na wahala for person body, every small thing, she go enter matter. She just dey chook mouth for everything.

"Brother-in-law, Baba Musa dey plan lend me money to buy house. I reason say make we help am small," my brother-in-law Auwalu add, cigarette for mouth as e dey spread body for sofa.

As e dey talk, cigarette smoke dey enter my nose. See as he dey relax as if na im papa get house. If to say na my papa house, he no go try am. I just dey look am with one kain eye. I fit see cigarette ash for carpet, but he no send. Na so disrespect dey start.

That time, I just understand everything. So na about my brother-in-law’s house matter.

As I connect the dots, my mind clear. Na house matter dey push them.

Last week, my brother-in-law announce say e wan marry, but money no dey for wedding house. My wife don discuss with me make I buy am for am.

She go dey run around dey plan for wedding wey dem never even see money finish. If na money, na me dem dey call like POS.

But how I go fit afford am? For Makurdi, house na at least 30 million naira. That kind money no dey my hand.

Even landlord for my area dey struggle to buy plot; now dem dey expect me, ordinary civil servant, to drop 30 million just like that. No be jazz?

I tell my wife straight say I no fit, we even quarrel on top am.

That quarrel, e reach to scatter house. I remember as she cry, call her mama, dem both dey shout for my head as if I be thief.

As I clear my mind, I look Auwalu. The guy just dey smile anyhow, leg cross, dey play game for him phone.

If to say life dey fair, this kain person no suppose chop food for my table. See as he dey relax. Lazy boys everywhere.

"Husband, why you no help Baba Musa wash? I wan go serve am food, e never chop dinner," Morayo talk, hand me the basin.

She dey try pet me but I dey see through her trick. If I try am, na story for street tomorrow.

"I no get time for that kind thing," I fire back, voice cold.

I no wan hear anything wey go make me look like mumu for this compound. My voice just dey hard like person wey drink ogogoro.

"Wetin dey do you?" Morayo see say I dey vex, she sef come dey vex.

Her eyebrow don rise, her voice dey pitch high. If na market, people go gather watch our fight.

"Morayo, you no get shame? You don ever think of how I dey feel? You even look wetin you dey wash so?"

My voice crack, I dey try hold myself. For my culture, woman suppose respect her husband, but see as she dey do anyhow.

I carry broom handle poke inside the basin. Under, na heap of dirty boxers and socks.

The smell wey hit my nose na die! This kain thing fit wake dead person for cemetery.

"You dey craze!" my wife shout, then waka out with the basin, straight go the next flat.

She no even look back. Na so she waka like village champion, basin for hand, dey enter neighbour house. Some neighbours wey dey for corridor just dey look her with corner eye.

My anger reach roof, my face just pale.

I fit see my reflection for the window—my eyes dey red, my chest dey rise and fall. Na by God grace I no go break bottle this night.

"Tunde, dem say, neighbour wey dey near fit pass brother wey dey Sokoto." My mother-in-law dey try use old proverb tie my mouth. But I sabi all this their tactics. She dey chop groundnut as she talk am, her face dey serious but her eye dey shine mischief.

"Auwalu need money buy wedding house. Neighbour don ready to lend us money," my mother-in-law talk as she dey chook groundnut for mouth, dey lecture me.

The way she dey talk, you go think say na she get sense pass for this world. She don forget say I dey carry her family for head like load since.

"Mama, I know say you dey blame me say I never buy Auwalu wedding house, but I no get the money. All these years, I never try for una?" I try hold my anger.

I dey try remind her of my good works, but for their mind, na only today matter.

I don marry my wife ten years now.

Ten good years, and as e dey be, na only her family dey benefit. My own people sef dey wonder if I still dey their side.

She get three younger brothers and she dey spoil them. Since we marry, na me dey run their matter.

Dem go school, na me pay. Dem fall sick, na my money run hospital. E reach to do one kind documentary for TV.

I pay tuition and upkeep for her first and second brothers, pay down payment for their wedding houses, even pay their bride price.

Na me dey carry family responsibility for back. Sometimes I go look my account, my body go just dey shake.

For her last brother, Auwalu, na me still pay school fees and living money.

If I dey count, na only God fit bless me. The small change wey remain for my own pocket, e no reach to buy recharge card sometimes.

Every year, I dey drop 400k for my in-laws as Christmas money.

Dem dey wait for alert like say na government salary. Last year, Mama Kemi buy new wrapper, use am do thanksgiving for church.

If you gather everything, na more than forty million naira I don spend for her family.

I don try. Even our pastor for church know say my hand dey clean. I dey wonder whether dem dey use my head for village juju.

Now, dem want make I buy Auwalu full wedding house.

For Makurdi? You wan craze person finish. E be like say dem wan see the end of my patience.

"Auwalu, we be family. Wetin dey bad for help?" my mother-in-law scold, dey point me. "Why you stingy like this?"

She dey shout on top her voice. If to say neighbours dey hear, dem go think say I thief their money.

"Mama, na me stingy so?"

I just dey look her, my voice dey low, but my mind dey shout.

"You dey insist make I buy Auwalu house complete, but I no get the money!"

I shout am.

My voice echo for parlour. Even Auwalu look up from him phone small. My heart dey beat, my hand dey shake.

"Why you dey raise voice?"

She dey twist her mouth, her eye dey sharp. Na so she dey do anytime she wan put person for trouble.

"Make you buy house for Auwalu na for the good of family. See, when you buy for Musa and Idris, na just down payment you pay. Now, dem still dey pay mortgage. Dem dey suffer, you no dey shame?"

My mother-in-law put hand for waist, dey para for me.

Her headgear nearly fall as she dey shake for anger. I fit see sweat for her forehead. She fit act Nollywood film.

My head dey turn. No wonder my wife’s first and second brothers no dey send me—so na because I make dem dey pay mortgage.

The pain wey I dey feel for chest, e be like say pepper dey inside. I just dey look everybody, na only me dey reason.

"And your parents no get house?" she ask.

Her tone na like principal wey dey scold stubborn student. I dey wonder whether na play or real talk.

"How my parents’ house take concern me? Dem sef need house to stay."

I dey try explain like small pikin, but she no wan hear story.

"You be their only child. Their house na your own. Your house na Morayo own. Morayo suppose fit give her brother stay for her house, abi?" my mother-in-law talk with straight face.

This one weak me. Her logic dey fly for air like mosquito. If na elders dey here, dem for don chase her comot for meeting.

I stagger back, my head dey spin. As I look the streetlights outside, I nearly wan jump commot window.

My leg begin dey shake. I dey sweat, even AC for parlour no fit cool me. My own wife just dey look like say she no know wetin dey happen.

"Brother-in-law, uncle and aunty fit stay for village. The air fresh there. I go rent farmhouse for them. When dem free, dem fit raise chicken and plant yam for us. No be better?" Auwalu add. "Na for uncle and aunty own good, for their health."

See as he dey talk, as if na him dey do me favour. If to say I fit slap him with my eye, e for run enter wall.

As I look Auwalu and my mother-in-law, I just laugh. "Una don plan everything finish."

The laughter wey escape my mouth na from pain, not joy. I no fit believe say I dey live for this kain house.

"Na so family suppose be," Auwalu reply, dey grin.

His teeth dey show, he dey bounce leg like person wey chop five wraps of eba. No shame at all.

I just waka commot house, na that time my wife laughter with another man from across the hall enter my ear. The thing make my chest dey tight.

The laughter dey loud, like say dem dey mock me. Na so compound people dey peep from window. Shame nearly swallow me.

I waka go downstairs, lie down for compound bench, dey reason: how my life take reach this level?

For this kind Makurdi night, mosquito dey bite, I dey look sky, dey count streetlight. My heart dey heavy, my mind dey run upandan.

I dey work overtime, try support this family, help everybody, na so e end?

If na village, elders go say make I run from this kind family. E don reach time to choose myself.