Chapter 1: Wahala for April Fool

Omo, wahala land for my head today because of one small April Fool prank. As the alarm blast for our hot classroom with broken fan, everybody just turn look my side. Even teacher face squeeze like person wey chop bitterleaf. I wan talk say no be my fault, but before I fit open mouth, the man don collect my phone.

Na so the guy wey set the alarm dey shine teeth for back, dey form big boy. Some boys wey sabi the prank just dey snicker, like say na comedy show. My body dey vex, but I hold myself tight.

I no even waste time, I tell am with shaky voice, "Guy, your mama get accident o." The thing shock am small, but the guy think say I just dey give am comeback. For where!

Omo, as I turn off the alarm, na there I see message from his papa: "Mama get accident, abeg come hospital now. Urgent." My hand begin shake, my heart just skip. For Naija, matter like this no be play.

But the guy just laugh, shine teeth, whisper, "April Fool!" like say na big win. "Abeg, bounce back," he talk, shoulders dey shake. The thing pain me, because I know say this one no be joke.

My mind no rest, chest tight. This kind thing no be wetin person suppose use play—na life and death o.

Normally, na so I dey always keep my phone for silent, make wahala no enter. But that yeye alarm make me check am quick, na so I see the papa message. The calls and texts plenty, my heart dey beat like generator wey no get fuel.

I dey read the message, dey process everything, na im teacher carry my phone waka commot. The man face hard like bricklayer wey no get pay. My mouth dry, I no even sabi wetin to do.

I go meet my classmate, talk low voice, "Your mama really dey hospital. I go beg teacher now, make I collect phone." My hand dey shake, the matter dey worry me.

E just vex, face turn, voice hard like stone. "Na your own mama get accident. If prank dey pain you, talk am, but no carry my mama enter your wahala." I shock. Na so him eyes red.

My heart just cut. I wan talk but words no come. Na so water gather for my eye, but I hold am, make boys no begin laugh say I dey form soft.

E clear why he no gree. Boys for Naija no dey believe person quick, especially for April Fool matter. Everybody dey protect im own, so if you talk anything, dem go think say na payback.

For school, na one code dey: you touch another person phone anyhow, na your mama dem go use swear. E dey pain but na the joke wey boys dey run. Even JSS1 pikin know am.

As e be say na your phone dem seize because of another person, na so dem go start to talk anyhow. "Omo, na your mama don finish." Na normal thing for the street, e dey fly for class like mosquito.

E reason say I dey vex say my phone don go, so I just dey talk as e dey do my body. He no fit even imagine say I dey serious.

I wan talk more, but I know say mouth no go do am. For Naija, if you want make dem believe you, show evidence. I gats show proof.

As I dey plan run find teacher, na im the man bust enter class. My heart fly enter mouth. I dey hope say he go just hand phone back.

Omo, the thing wey my eye see eh! Teacher just bring out hammer from back like say na construction worker. I beg, "Oga abeg, make I explain—" but he no even look me. Before anybody fit shout, na so he use am gbam my phone for floor. Chai! Dust rise, classmates mutter, "E don red!"

The thing shock everybody, even birds wey dey window fly. Class quiet reach, you fit hear pin drop. My hand dey shake, my hope just quench.

Oga no stop there. He bend down, knock the phone again and again. Na so my screen shatter, scatter like egusi after person break am.

I freeze, mouth wide open. I no fit talk, my hand dey shake. Na so my hope just quench.

The man no even look face. He fling the phone for table, voice cold like rain for harmattan. "If you no like am, make your papa come see me." Everybody keep face front, nobody wan collect wahala.

I talk with all my strength, voice dey crack. "Oga, how you go just scatter am like that? E get emergency message for the phone—his mama dey hospital, dey wait am!"

Before I finish talk, my classmate para, grab textbook, throw am my side. "Wetin dey worry you! Stop to dey curse my mama!" The book brush my arm. Boys for back begin shift seat, wahala dey cook. Somebody shout, "Gbosah!"

Teacher eye narrow, frown deep. "Wetin una dey do for here?" Him voice make everywhere freeze.

I explain quick, voice shaky: "Oga, as you collect my phone, na im his papa send message say his mama get accident. I wan check which hospital, but you carry am. Wetin we fit do now?"

Teacher just bark laugh, sharp like hyena. The thing scatter my hope. I dey expect say e go calm down, instead e vex dey laugh.

He dey look me like say I dey yarn dust. "So, na when I seize your phone, e mama come get accident. Why his family go send you message, na you born am?"

I just tell am as e be, voice low: "Sir, no be everybody get phone for school, so I dey help people use am. Dem dey pay me small, fifty naira per minute. Na so parents sabi say dem fit reach their pikin with my number." Classmates dey sneak me N50, whisper, "Guy, abeg, help me call my people."

E don tey wey I dey run am, so some mamas and papas don save my number. When dem need reach their pikin, na me dem dey call. Na just small hustle for survival.

He face twist, voice sharp. "You dey run business for my class? You don turn school to market?" E dey look me like say I thief goat.

I talk, almost beg am. "Oga, abeg, this no be time for that one. Person mama dey hospital. Life dey on the line."