Chapter 2: First Judgement, First Fire

Cock crow never even finish, but palace already dey buzz like Balogun market. I siddon for the lion throne, dey force myself to listen to chiefs dey report, dey answer them as dem talk.

The chair big, but e hard like stone. My back dey sweat, but I gats maintain face. The chiefs dey line up, dey bow, dey speak big grammar. My mind dey fly, but I gats dey nod like say I understand.

The throne fine and wide, but you no fit relax or even lean back; you must dey form correct oba for hours. I dey adjust, dey sit upright. If I even try shift body small, palace guards go look me with side-eye. Everybody dey expect make I no show weakness. Small cough, dem fit say 'Oba dey sick!'

After small time, na real suffer. Mosquito dey bite my leg, I dey wish say I fit just stand up go my own bed. Royalty no easy, na so I dey learn.

I just dey miss my big office chair wey I buy with one million naira. No chair like that office one. Leather soft, back support correct. That time, if meeting long, I go cross leg, sip tea. Now, na only hard wood.

"Your Majesty, this chief wan report Chief Ajayi. Him no fit control him house. On top wedding night, him second son leave Chief Okeke pikin wey get respect, run go follow one akara seller, even try do lovers' suicide. This kain wahala no good for community."

As soon as this matter enter, I dey expect something heavy. These chiefs no dey ever bring better gist—na only wahala full their mouth. My mind begin dey calculate, 'Which kind community problem be this again?'

Sharp sharp, my eye clear. If you wan make your day sweet, na gist, gist, and more gist. Palace na real gossip HQ. From morning till night, na who do this, who chop that. I dey wait for real solution, but dem prefer story.

I sit up, look Chief Ajayi, the man face don red like tomato, and I say, "Oya, make we hear am."

Chief Ajayi mouth dey shake, sweat dey his forehead. The way I take eye am, e know say no escape.

The palace elders, as if person give them injection, start to pour all the bad things wey Chief Ajayi pikin do. Dem dey take turn, one after the other, voice dey rise, table dey shake. Everybody wan show say dem sabi tradition, but na Chief Ajayi dem dey use do example. The heat for the room fit roast corn.

The way these elders dey quote tradition, dey form holy, dey shout up and down. You go think say na Bible study. 'Our forefathers say…' 'In the days of our ancestors…' Na so so proverb dey fly.

Chief Ajayi try talk back, but na one against crowd. Him voice just dey drown like small pikin for rain. Nobody dey hear am, everybody dey overtalk am.

Result? Dem finish am. The man sweat pass who run marathon. You fit see say him don tire for the whole palava.

Chief Ajayi mouth no fit run pass the elders. Na so elders take seniority finish am. E no fit argue again.

Some chiefs notice say I dey watch with interest, so dem quickly turn the fire reach me. I remember all those boardroom meetings for Abuja—if you no balance matter, union go strike. But palace wahala pass parastatal politics. Before I fit blink, na my name dem dey call. Na so power dey shift for palace.

"Your Majesty, Chief Ajayi no be good example, him no fit control him house. Him son break engagement, still get mind blame Chief Okeke daughter say she no fit hold him heart. This kain rubbish too much. The wife even go fight for Chief Okeke house, force marriage, when dem no gree, she beat Chief Okeke and him daughter join. Abomination! As chief wife, she no get respect, she no deserve her title. I beg Your Majesty punish Chief Ajayi well."

This kain report, e get weight. For palace, once dem add 'Abomination,' everywhere go tense. I dey reason how to balance matter.

The elders divide—some dey shout say punish them well, others dey talk say na family matter, make we no carry am for head. Arguments dey fly like market square, even the guards dey look confused. Na so person voice go high, another one go hush am.

After all, Chief Ajayi na uncle to Fourth and Seventh Princes; maybe for their sake, make we overlook am. Political matter dey hide for inside. If you touch Ajayi, you touch prince pikin. Everything for palace dey connect like agbada thread.

Both sides dey argue like market women, spit dey fly everywhere. Person fit think say na Oja Oba dem dey, not council meeting. Everybody dey shout, dey point hand.

As I dey watch these people dey drag matter like hot ogi, I begin understand why the former oba no gree do again. My mind dey flash—'If na me, I for don vex run leave this throne too.' No be small wahala.

Small matter, see as e scatter palace like say community wan end. For my head, I dey shake, 'Na only one pikin dey misbehave, see as e turn kingdom upside down.'

Na real madness. To rule human beings, you need patience. The kind madness wey dey palace, no be ordinary.

But since dem carry am reach palace, I must do something. As oba, you no fit ignore wahala. If you try am, dem go say you no sabi rule.

I clear my throat, ask, "So Ajayi Junior and the akara seller, dem die for their suicide plan?"

The question land like thunder. Everybody freeze. The chiefs pause, dey look one another. Everywhere just quiet. You fit hear pin drop. Even breeze no wan blow.

Soon, one elder answer, "Your Majesty, dem survive. Dem don rescue them."

The elder voice soft, like person wey dey fear, 'make I no talk too much.'

"Okay..." I reason small. Everybody dey look me. I talk my own.

I allow small silence, then I talk with confidence: "Abeg, make una hear me well—love no dey look face. Love strong no be curse. If two people wan die together, maybe dem suppose be together."

"Ajayi Junior and the akara seller love strong. Make dem marry quick quick."

The whole place shock, everybody dey breathe in. I hear whisper—some dey say, 'Oba dey craze?' Others dey nod. But na so I like am, make palace shake small.

I think say dem dey hail my wisdom. I add, "Ajayi Junior engagement with Chief Okeke daughter cancel."

I see the shock for Chief Okeke face. Everybody dey try process how love story take turn to community matter.

I reason the poor Chief Okeke daughter—first, na Ajayi Junior disgrace am, then chief wife come beat am join. She don suffer. I say, "Make Ajayi family pay her one hundred bags of rice as compensation."

As I talk am, elders nod. Compensation dey important for community—to restore peace and dignity.

"Your Majesty..." Chief Ajayi shock. The man mouth open, voice shake. I fit see say e no believe wetin e dey hear.

I no let am talk, I quick add, "Ajayi Junior break engagement, run follow woman—not good. Chief wife force marriage, still fight—no home training. Remove her title. Chief Ajayi no fit control house—cut him salary for three years, lock am for one month make him think."

I talk am finish, I balance for chair. For my mind, I dey shine teeth—'Na so dem dey rule!'

As 985 humanities graduate, my English sharp, official grammar na my mate? For this kind matter, you need oba wey sabi talk. My degree help me balance tradition and modern law.

"Your Majesty..."

Chief Ajayi wan beg, but my face strong. For palace, na only authority dem dey respect.

I eye Chief Ajayi, say, "Even though chief wife rude, Ajayi Junior na royal blood. I go personally apologize to Chief Okeke daughter. Case closed."

That one na final. Once oba talk, case dey closed. I no wan drag.

Chief Ajayi mouth wide, no fit believe. You fit see say e dey swallow saliva, e no know wetin to talk again. The elders dey nod, everybody dey respect the decision.

I feel say my judgement balance, fair, follow law—nothing dem fit talk. Inside me, I dey proud—at least, I no dey partial, I dey follow tradition, I dey show sense.

Before elders go drag matter, I end meeting, waka comot. No time for unnecessary talk. As I stand, everybody bow, silence follow me waka. True power no dey make noise.