Chapter 2: Wahala Twins and Papa Gbas Gbos

The two small wahala wey dey scatter everywhere for parlour na Amara twin sons.

If you see as living room dey look—everywhere full of children noise. The twins dey run up and down like Christmas goat, wahala everywhere. Outside, generator hum dey mix with afternoon breeze, but inside, na only children wahala dey reign.

But one of them don turn my pikin—Chibuike, for the show.

Na so e be for this show: Chibuike don turn my own son. Everybody for set just dey call am Nnamdi pikin.

Chibuike and Tega be fraternal twins. Dem no resemble each other much, but both fine like tomorrow no dey.

If you line them up, you go see say na only same mama born dem. Chibuike get sharp face, eyes like morning dew, Tega fat small, face round. But abeg, both of them na fine bobo. Even neighbours dey toast their future.

But character? Dem be day and night.

But see their character, na night and day difference. If Chibuike dey do like lamb, Tega na wolf cub. Abeg, make nobody talk say pikin no dey different.

Chibuike na good boy, calm and dey reason.

Chibuike, na him calm pass, he dey look you well before he go talk. If you give am assignment, e go finish am sharp, no too much talk.

Tega na proper stubborn T-Rex, the kind pikin wey even goat go dey pity.

Tega own, forget it—na T-Rex wey dey wear pampers. Even goat for backyard go dey pity am say, "E never do?"

Today fight start because Tega snatch Chibuike toy, come scatter him block tower. Na so wahala begin.

Today wahala start when Tega, sharp as usual, just waka collect Chibuike new toy, use am scatter all the block tower wey the boy dey build. Na so the whole house turn stadium.

Tega big pass Chibuike, and with him fat hand, scratch appear for Chibuike arm. Now Chibuike just squat near table, face swell, dey look am with watery eye.

Tega, as usual, dey hug toy, dey cry and dey curse, no get single sense.

Tega hug the toy tight, dey shout and dey curse. Him mouth dey run like tap, body dey shake. If to say na another pikin, e for calm since.

Na this one be stubborn pikin pro max.

If you dey find stubborn pikin for Guinness Book, abeg, write Tega name with capital letter. Na pro max level.

Just to see am sef dey make my body hot.

Even to dey look the boy dey make my blood dey boil. I remember my own childhood, but Tega carry wahala reach another level.

I just get up from ground, waka go there.

As e be so, I no fit siddon watch. I just pick myself, waka go separate them.

As I dey move, Chibuike body just shrink, face pale and disappointed.

As I dey reach, I see as Chibuike face just fall, body shrink like snail enter shell. E get as e dey pain me.

Tega come dey form boss, chest out, sure say I go support am.

Tega dey pose, chest out, face up, as if I go back him up. E sure for am say na me and am be team.

Sorry for am.

I just dey pity am for head. Small pikin, you never jam real wahala.

Before awakening, maybe na so.

Before my brain reset, maybe I go do as before—support am, spoil am.

But now, na Baba-Agba Stepdad I be.

As things be now, na Baba Agba level I dey. My head correct, my spirit strong. If dem dey act Nollywood, I for win Best Stepfather Award.

Dem nor go fit use me play again. I go show dem say old papa no dey joke.

Ignore my good pikin because I wan please stubborn pikin wey no even send me? Na craze dey worry me?

Which kain mumu be that? To ignore my own good boy because of stubbornness? E never reach like that for this life.

I just collect the toy from Tega hand, return am to Chibuike, smile soft: “No cry, baby, Daddy don collect your toy back for you.”

No time, I collect the toy from Tega, hand am back to Chibuike. I bend, rub am for back: "No cry, my pikin, Daddy dey for you. Toy don come back."

Then I face Tega, face strong: “Try am again, make I see. If your mama no fit train you, I go help am.”

My face come hard, like class prefect wey dey write name for blackboard. "Tega, make you try am again na. If your mama no fit train you, I go take am up myself. You go know say old papa pass stubbornness."

Tega just dey look me, mouth open, shock hold am.

You need see as Tega mouth just open, like goat wey see snake for farm. Boy shock, na real surprise enter am.

Next thing, he burst cry like generator wey dem just on for rainy season, rush come grab my trouser, dey shout:

As the tears start, na so the boy rush me, hold my trouser like say na my trouser be him only hope for paradise, voice high: "You fit collect my toy? I go tell Mummy! She no go ever talk to you again!"

“You fit collect my toy? I go tell Mummy! She no go ever talk to you again!”