Chapter 6: The Flood After the Fire

I pack my clothes, commot for house.

I no pack plenty things—just my blue Ghana-must-go bag, the one wey my mama take run market that year, my old laptop, small foodstuffs. As I waka out, I fit hear her soft sob, but I no turn back. Rain dey threaten for sky, but I no send.

I go the single flat wey I buy before marriage, just stay there for now.

Na small flat, one room, brown tiles. Old mosquito net for window. But e dey quiet, peace full everywhere. I lie down, dey look ceiling, mind dey blank.

This place far from town, near the river—e even better pass city.

Fishermen dey waka pass, their canoe dey creak for water, morning breeze dey carry the smell of wet earth. Birds dey sing. Sometimes I dey hear drum from village church for night. E dey calm my mind small. The pain still dey, but air dey fresh.

I for like save am for when we go fit come relax together.

That time, I dey dream say we go do small barbecue, drink palm wine, laugh like old days. Na dream be that.

But Morayo always talk say she dey busy, never get time for me.

Her work dey carry her everywhere. She fit talk say she dey Lagos, next week Port Harcourt. I dey wait, dey hope, but she no ever get time. My mind dey wander.

[This supporting guy no get shame at all.]

[The more I look am, the more e dey vex me. Make okada jam am.]

[Why dey vex? Supporting guy and babe don divorce, he don commot house. Now babe fit stay with main guy. Just imagine the happiness—no be better so?]

[Truth be say, supporting guy just dey do gra-gra. He still like babe. How e go fit bear to divorce her? I sure say he go come beg in few days.]

[So wetin if he beg? Make he know how regret dey be! Good horse no dey turn back. Main guy get muscle, sabi tease babe—na better combo. E better pass this supporting guy wey just sabi hustle and dey do nice guy, but no get emotional sense. Besides, babe never love supporting guy. No matter how e try, she no send am.]

I just dey look all the bullet comments wey dey fly up and down.

I dey check my WhatsApp, my Facebook. Message no dey. Nobody dey call. E be like say world move on. Rain begin fall for zinc roof, the sound dey loud for my ear. My pillow dey soak like garri for water. I wonder if this rain go ever stop, or if my own just dey pour forever.

Everything just dey meaningless.

I walk out, stand for veranda, look river. Water dey flow, no stop for anybody. Mosquito dey bite me, but I no even send. E be like say I dey live for another person body.

People for comment dey talk say Morayo never love me.

Maybe na true, maybe na lie. But my heart still dey pain me. I dey ask God, say wetin I do wey I deserve this one?

Na only Seyi she ever love.

Dem say na Seyi dey her mind since school. Me na just place holder. If to say life different, maybe Morayo and Seyi for marry since. Who know?

Me, I confuse.

My head dey turn. I dey try remember all the small signs. Maybe I blind all along.

That time we dey date, Morayo save money buy matching rings for us.

Her hand dey shake as she give me the small box. I remember say she smile, eye dey shine. She talk say na her small salary she use buy am. E sweet me that day.

She tell me, "I no get anything again—na only this I fit give you. I hope you no mind."

Her voice soft, like breeze. I hug her, promise her say I go protect her. That time, e be like say love dey plenty.

When I travel for work, she mistake my flight. She see news, think say I die for crash, and my phone no get signal. She curl up for bathroom with my shirt, cry from night till daybreak.

Na her friend call me, say Morayo dey cry, say I die. I rush find call card, call her. When she hear my voice, she cry, laugh, then cry again. That time, I feel loved.

One night, she wake from nightmare, see me sleep beside her, just kiss my cheek gently.

I no wake, but I feel the kiss. That night, I dream say she dey pray for me. I dey smile for sleep.

...

I really think say she love me.

Na so life be. Sometimes, love dey come, dey go, you no go fit hold am.

But she cheat, carry another man belle, shout for me, vex anyhow, dey cold towards me—all these ones na fact too.

My heart no fit deny. The pain real, e dey burn like fire. All the memories dey mix for my head.

I no even know wetin dey her mind again.

If I call her now, she fit cut my call. If I write, she fit block me. Na stranger she be.

But even if I know, nothing fit make us go back to how we be before.

E don finish. The bridge don burn. The river go dey flow, but e no go cross back. I enter room, close curtain. I whisper small prayer, beg God make e carry my wahala go, make tomorrow sun shine reach my side.