Chapter 1: Wahala Don Land

Na my classmate mama I knack belle—wahala don land. For Naija street, if dem hear this kain gist, e fit scatter like Lagos traffic for Monday morning. But that time, my mind no dey even reason all the wahala. The thing just dey weigh me, press my chest like heavy load—book, family, everything disappear for my eye, na only Aunty Amaka dey my mind.

Abeg, no rush judge me—I don reach eighteen already.

For my area, once you clock eighteen, dem go say you don become man—even if na only age you get, no money, no respect yet. E no surprise me as I dey reason myself like say I dey do big man tins, but sometimes e still dey worry my heart. I dey imagine my mama face if she hear this kain gist—she go fit faint sef.

How I wan talk am? She no be like other people mama. She young, fine scatter.

Omo, this one no be those mama wey tie wrapper for waist dey chase pikin upandan. This one dey waka with confidence—her wahala na for person wey get eye. If you see as boys for my street dey hail her, you go understand say na correct woman she be. My mouth dey even heavy to talk the whole matter.

The first time wey I see Aunty Amaka na for my classmate, Uche, house. Sun dey burn that day ehn, breeze no even dey. We dey play video game when him mama carry malt come meet us.

I remember as the heat wan finish person, but the cold bottle of malt wey she bring make everywhere cool small. Uche house dey always full that period, but as she waka enter, everywhere just quiet. Boys dey respect her, na so.

She wear one spaghetti-strap top and bum shorts, her gold anklet dey shine for her leg, and she tie gele small-small for style, even with spaghetti top. Her body just dey shine with that youthful, hot vibe wey other aunties no fit get—her skin fair like new yam, you go think say she dey bath with milk, her waist slim like snake, and she dey carry one small sweet scent for body.

Even Uche dey always talk say him mama dey like fine babe, say if she waka for market, people go dey turn look her. Some people dey gossip say na only luck make she born early, otherwise she for still dey run things.

She just relax for chair beside us, bring out her phone, join us dey play game. As we dey play, I dey pray make NEPA no carry light, because if dem off am now, na wahala. See as she sabi play game ehn, I shock. Most women for our side no dey near video game, but she dey press pad like say na she invent the thing. She even dey tease Uche, dey win am for Mortal Kombat. Small time, all my focus just shift to her.

I no even know where to put my eye. Every small time, I go dey peep her waist. Aunty Amaka quick catch me, laugh small, use her finger tap my forehead, dey tease me, “You no get home training. Abi na your mama no teach you how to look ground?”

Her laugh dey like bell, e light my body. If to say na another mama, she for shout or give me eye. But she just use play play scold me. Even my body begin dey shake as she touch my forehead—my heart jump, I nearly drop pad for ground. Na that soft teasing wey dey enter person bone.

Uche vex, but no be for me—na him mama e dey shout, “You no dey shame? You no fit comport yourself for my classmate front?!”

I nearly laugh but I hold myself. Uche mouth sharp as him dey para for him mama. You go think say na two stubborn siblings dey quarrel, not mother and pikin. I reason say na the kind relationship wey dem get, e no too normal for Naija, but e dey make sense for their house.

Aunty Amaka face come red, in the end she just talk small sorry.

Na the first time I see say woman wey strong fit blush like small girl. She just wave hand, dey waka around like say nothing dey sup, dey greet customers with her usual shine, but I see say her pride cut small. She still package herself sha, smile return quick quick.

That day, as I reach house, my head full Aunty Amaka matter. The way we play game together dey my mind, I no even know when I send her WhatsApp request. Time don reach ten for night, but she still accept.

For our area, once time reach ten, na only stubborn person dey online. So as I see her accept, my belle sweet. I even check twice say na true. My guy dem dey reason say I get luck, say make I no go fuck up.

I invite her make we play game, she agree. We open voice note, she talk with one lazy voice, “Small boy, you never go sleep?”

Her voice that night get one kind slow sugar, e be like when rain dey fall for zinc. The thing dey press my body, my skin dey rise. I just dey feel fly, dey laugh for inside my mind.

Na that day I know say woman lazy voice dey sweet person ear.

The way she talk, e be like jazz. My ear dey tickle. No be say I never talk to girl before, but this one different. My chest dey warm.

I tell her say I no be small boy—I don reach eighteen. She just laugh, call me “big boy”, say I just senior her pikin with one year.

Her laugh cut me, but e sweet me. She dey catch cruise with me, but I no mind. For my mind, I dey form strong head, dey try show say I be man.

Nothing happen that night. We just play game taya. Only once, as dem surround me for the game dey attack, she just talk, “No fear, I go protect you.”

Na just ordinary talk, but my heart begin beat kpai kpai kpai.

For my mind, I dey reason say, see as woman dey talk say she go protect me. Wetin remain? Na so I dey float for cloud nine. My spirit no even dey house again.

We play till midnight, she say she get work go do.

I dey wonder, this kind woman, wetin dey run for her head? Which kind work dey keep person awake after midnight, especially for Naija wey PHCN fit take light anytime?

I wonder, which kind work person dey do for midnight?

Maybe na her own business she dey run online, or na night market she dey check. But I no too press her, I just dey form mature.

Aunty Amaka ask me, “You no go read for WAEC?”

As she drop that question, e dey pain me small. E remind me say my life still dey for crossroad—whether I go better or just dey drag life.

I talk, “Wetin I wan read for technical school? People like us go still end up for mechanic workshop. Who even send?”

My voice get small anger inside. Na so we dey reason for my hood. Person go try, struggle, but na the same result most times. I no fit lie to her.

She quiet for small time, then she say, “Na because you never try your best.”

That word hit me. E choke me for throat. Sometimes e be like say people no dey understand wetin boys from our side dey pass, but as she talk am, I know say she just dey try encourage me. I no fit vex for am.

As she log off, I just dey look her profile picture—na selfie. I stare the picture sotay.

Her face for that selfie get one kind light for eye. I dey imagine say na me snap the picture for her. I even zoom am, dey count her eyebrow, dey check whether she dey smile for me or for herself.

After that day, anytime Aunty Amaka dey online, I go invite her play game. She dey always gree.

No matter how late, once she see my invite, she go enter. Some nights, na only two of us dey for server, dey gist, dey laugh. Our own private world, nobody fit enter.

Small small, I just dey used to dey find her. Until one day, I gather mind apply make she be my in-game babe.

My hand dey shake as I press that request. For game, to choose partner no be beans. Na there all the coded feelings dey start.

Before, Aunty Amaka dey always accept my invite.

She dey quick reply, dey smile for chat. I dey always sure say she dey wait my message.

But this time, she just send me question mark.

The thing shock me. I dey fear say I don fuck up. My mind dey beat like generator wey no wan start.

My face burn, shame wan kill me. I rush explain say, if our intimacy level high, love go dey show between us for the game.

As I dey type, my finger dey shake. My chest dey tight, I dey reason whether I go block myself. But I gats talk true.

As she understand, she happy. Aunty Amaka dey use all her money for Uche, she no dey buy skin for herself, so even small hearts for game dey make her smile.

E shock me how little thing fit make her happy. She dey always buy all the latest skin for Uche, dey hustle for bar, but for herself, na just ordinary. As we dey play, I see say my own small effort dey touch her.

We come be couple for game. I happy sotay if I get wings I for fly.

That night, sleep no catch me. I dey roll for bed, dey imagine say I and Aunty Amaka dey hold hand for real life. For my dream sef, I dey smile like mumu.

Through phone, as I see the hearts between us, my own heart dey beat anyhow.

Every small notification, na her I dey expect. Even when my battery low, I go plug phone, dey wait her message. Na so person dey fall.

Aunty Amaka even begin dey invite me play with her friends. Any time I join, the other women go dey tease:

The kind teasing wey dey sweet and dey shame person at once. Some of her friends go use Igbo mix am, "Nne, see ya husband o! E be like say you go born another pikin soon." Everybody go burst laugh.

“Ah, your husband don show?”

“Na your small husband be this?”

Sometimes dem fit even sing one funny song, dey hail me. I go dey form strong face, but my ear go red.

Her friends dey tease her, she go just laugh, tell them make dem no talk nonsense.

She go wave hand, form like say she no send. But sometimes, I go see as her face dey blush. Na woman wey sabi herself, but all this play dey make her smile like girl.

But last last, we carry the whole feeling enter real life.

The game and chat no do us again. Body dey do me, I dey reason how I go see her face, how her voice go sound if no be through phone.

Aunty Amaka best friend, Sister Nnenna, sef like game. One time, as she wan do promotion match, she insist make we gather for outside to help her.

I dey reason say, which kind grown woman dey play game like pikin? But as I see say dem dey enjoy, I join. Na there I see another side of grown women life.

I go the small bar, na there I know say Aunty Amaka and Sister Nnenna dey run am together. Na why dem dey work till late.

Their bar no too big, but e neat. People dey always full there every Friday. Sometimes, dem dey close late because of people wey no wan go house early. E make sense now why she dey always dey up for midnight.

E just funny—technical school pikin with no future, dey sit down with two madam wey get bar, and dem dey listen to me.

I feel small inside, but the way dem dey laugh for my joke dey boost my chest. For my street, na only area boys dey reason me. Here, na women wey get level dey rate my play. My confidence begin grow small small.

Sister Nnenna dey bite cigarette as she dey play. Aunty Amaka no like the smell, so she carry me go back booth, we sit down play together.

Sister Nnenna no dey hide her own. She dey drop ash for floor, dey gist anyhow. But Aunty Amaka dey gentle, carry me go side booth wey breeze no fit blow smoke reach. E make me see as she dey consider person.

As she wan see my screen well, she sit near me, the smell of her perfume just dey enter my nose.

That scent dey make my heart jump.

The perfume no be all those cheap ones—e get one kind coconut and vanilla smell. My nose dey remember am till today. If I pass supermarket, I dey always stop for perfume stand dey smell different sample.

After game finish, Aunty Amaka stretch body.

Her stretch no be ordinary. She raise hand, back bend, her breast rise, her stomach flat. If na film, dem for pause am there. I dey look her like say I dey watch TV, but na real life.

Na first time I see mature woman stretch—her cloth tight, her shape just dey show, every move dey scatter my head.

I dey try compose, but my eye no fit look away. My throat dry, my hand dey sweat. I dey ask myself if na juju she use.

That day I understand say, laziness for woman body na big attraction.

She no dey rush herself, every movement get style. E dey show say she dey confident for her body. E no easy to see for my side.

I just dey look. Aunty Amaka catch my eye. This time, her own body language change—her face red, she bend head, dey press phone like say nothing happen, but I see say she sef dey shy.

I no believe say woman wey strong fit dey shy. I dey reason say, e get something about me wey dey move her too. Na there I begin get hope.

I summon courage, hold her hand.

My palm dey sweat, but I no loose grip. The thing sweet me, but my heart dey hammer.

She shake small, but she no pull hand.

The small shake be like say na warning, but she still gree. I hold am soft, my thumb dey rub her knuckle. Na so connection dey start for Naija.

We no talk, we no confess. I try put my hand round her shoulder.

I dey plan the thing for my head, dey pray make I no fuck up. My mouth dry, but I go try.

But mature woman no need teacher—before I fit hug her, she don lean enter my body, dey play with her phone.

Na so she just fit herself for my side. Her head rest for my chest, her body dey close. I dey feel her hair, her shoulder. Na only phone light dey shine for our face.

As I lower my head, my mouth near her hair, my lips close to her own.

My whole body dey shake. I dey fear, but na now or never.

I try kiss her. I dey shake, but she no dodge.

Her body dey steady, she open face, no vex. She dey wait make I try.

I kiss her face, kiss near her mouth.

My lips land for her cheek, then near her mouth. I smell her skin, e fresh like baby. My head dey turn.

She close her eyes, her eyelash dey tremble.

The tremble dey soft. If you see the way her eyelash dey rest for her face, you go know say na woman wey dey feel the thing.

Sister Nnenna come out, see Aunty Amaka for my hand. She shock.

Na real ogbonge wahala. Sister Nnenna just freeze for door, her eyes big like torchlight.

She rush come drag Aunty Amaka, say time don reach to prepare for business. I notice as she pinch Aunty Amaka for waist join.

She use coded sign pinch her for waist, like say she dey warn her, "behave yourself o." Then she eye me join, like say make I respect myself.

Na that time Aunty Amaka clear, run go bar side.

She arrange herself, fix her cloth, then waka go. Her face still red. As she dey move, she no look my side.

I form say I dey normal, order Star, but my mind dey reason small stout—na money short am. Sister Nnenna check my ID, confirm say I be adult, then give me.

Sister Nnenna no trust me. She ask, "You sure say you don reach age?" I show her my ID card. She look am well, then serve me with strong face. For Naija, bar people no dey play for underage matter.

I no get money for second bottle, but I just wan dey look Aunty Amaka more, so I dey sip am slow.

I dey use the bottle cover my shakara, dey form say I dey chill, but na only her shadow my eye dey follow for bar.

To run business no easy for woman. Aunty Amaka dey toast customers. When e don late, people dey go, she come sit near me.

I see as she dey smile, dey joke with customers, dey collect their money sharp sharp. Sometimes, dem go try toast her, but she no send them. When everywhere don calm, na my side she come sit.

She ask, “You no dey go house?”

Her voice get tired inside, but still dey soft. I dey look her eyes, dey see small sadness.

I say, “Tomorrow na weekend, you don drink too much. I wan escort you go house.”

As I talk am, I dey try form protector. I dey reason say I fit be her man, fit stand for her. E dey sweet me to talk am, even though my chest dey beat.

She laugh. I ask wetin dey funny, she say, “You no even get keke. How you wan escort me? Na to trek together?”

She laugh loud, use hand cover mouth. For her face, I see say she dey enjoy the play. Her voice carry that mocking tone, but e still soft. I try reason say she dey play with me, but I no fit hide the shame wey rush me.

My face come red, I realise say gap dey between us.

The gap no be only age—na money, na status, na everything. I dey reason say, na mechanic apprentice dey try talk love for woman wey dey run bar. E choke.

All the men wey dey chase her get car, me I go dey repair their car for mechanic shop—na auto repair I dey learn.

I know all their face, because dem dey always drive come mechanic shop, dey hail me as small boy. Now I dey imagine say dem fit come collect her for my front.

I no even get money for okada.

I check pocket, see only change. Even okada to my area go finish am. But na pride dey hold me there.

Aunty Amaka, wey don high small, just lean for sofa dey laugh, “Uche bring friends house, so I no dey go house tonight. I go sleep for shop.”

She throw leg for sofa, lie down like say she dey house. Her laugh dey heavy, she dey enjoy herself. I see say, when she high small, her tongue dey loose.

As she talk am, I understand. For class, boys dey talk say if anybody tire for night, dem fit sleep for Uche house. As long as you be Uche friend, he go tell him mama make she sleep elsewhere for your sake.

Na so dem dey form senior man for school. Dem go go Uche house, eat, sleep, watch TV. Uche mama go just dey shift for their sake. I dey reason say na privilege be that.

Aunty Amaka bring out folding bed from storeroom, dey arrange am. That time, Sister Nnenna come, eye me well, tell me say she go drive me go house.

Sister Nnenna dey watch me with eagle eye. She no trust my intention. She stand for door, cross hand, dey wait my answer.

I say I no wan go. I wan stay with Aunty Amaka—I dey worry for her.

I talk am with small voice. I dey fear, but I no wan leave her. Na my first time stand ground for woman.

Sister Nnenna shout, “See this boy!” She talk serious, “If you no gree leave her, you wan make I call boys for you? You call am love? You think say I no know wetin dey your mind?”

Her voice loud, e carry power. Everybody for shop hear am. She dey ready call area boys if I no behave. I know say she no dey play.

Fear catch me—she fit really call boys for me.

My armpit begin sweat. If dem call area boys, na real beating. But my body still dey ginger me.

But my mind dey Aunty Amaka side.

Even as fear dey catch me, na only Aunty Amaka I dey look. I dey hope say she go back me up.

I no know why Sister Nnenna dey harsh like that. I even help her for game, but she still dey block my love.

I dey reason say maybe she dey protect her friend, or maybe she no trust me. For street, na so dem dey do if dem like person—dem go block you, dey test your mind.

I too dey childish.

I no fit hide am. My action dey show my age. But I gats try.

Aunty Amaka beg Sister Nnenna make she no scare me.

She hold Sister Nnenna hand, beg her softly, “Nnenna, abeg, leave am. Na my matter.” Her voice dey gentle, but e carry weight. Sister Nnenna just hiss, shake head.

Sister Nnenna look us, sigh, then waka go.

She waka go back bar, still dey eye me like eagle. I sigh relief, but my body still dey shake.

Only me and Aunty Amaka remain for small bar.

The whole place quiet. The only sound na fridge wey dey hum. I dey feel say na new chapter for my life be this.

I no get folding bed, so I crash for sofa. We play game small, but cold dey catch me as I no get wrapper.

The AC dey blow anyhow. My teeth dey shake. I dey try form hard guy, but my body dey betray me.

Aunty Amaka see as I dey shake. She carry her own duvet, come sit near me, cover us both.

She spread the duvet for both of us, her body close to mine. The way she dey arrange am, e soft, like mama wey dey care for pikin. But my mind no be pikin mind again.

The duvet and her body dey warm like fresh moi-moi, her perfume and body cream mix dey sweet my nose. The warmth sweet die. I fit smell her perfume mix with body cream. I wan freeze that moment.

I look inside her fine eye, her breath dey rush.

Her eye dey shine, like say light dey inside. Her mouth small open, I dey feel her breath for my cheek. My own heart dey race.

I gather mind kiss her, she answer me back.

Her lips soft, she no rush me, she dey move slow. I dey learn the rhythm, dey flow with her.

Mature woman no need teacher; she gentle, dey show me how.

Her hand dey guide me, she dey touch my face, dey hold my head. No be like small girl wey go dey shy. She teach me the way mature woman dey love.

She off all the light, sit down for my hand, everywhere dark. She whisper for my ear, “You see me as game too?”

Her voice dey low, dey quiver. I fit feel the insecurity inside. I hold her waist tight, try make her know say I dey real.

I say, “I no dey play with you, I dey serious.”

My voice no strong, but na true. I dey feel am from my heart.

As she hear ‘serious’, her body shake.

Her hand grip my arm, like say she dey fear, dey expect. I dey reason if na true love or just wahala I dey bring.

I hug her waist, talk low, “Aunty Amaka, I love you. My heart dey beat anyhow, but even if I repeat am one thousand times… my heart full of you.”

My head dey hot as I talk am. I dey talk true, no code. If I fit climb roof that night, I for shout am for whole street.

She cut me off.

She no let me finish. She put finger for my mouth, shake head gently. Her eye red, like person wey wan cry.

“No talk again. I believe you…”

Her voice carry one kind pain, but na acceptance. She just rest her head for my chest, close eye.

That night, I become man true true.

E no be only body, na for heart too. I learn say love no get age, but wahala no dey far from am.