Chapter 2: Proposal and Secrets for Small Room

For the dim self-contained.

That small room na another world. Darkness just dey hug everywhere, but the moonlight wey manage sneak enter through cracked window, dey shine on top Tobi back, strong and well-built. For Nigeria, if you see man wey no dey fat, no dey too slim, just correct, na big blessing. Tobi own body get the kind strength wey you go see for people wey dey farm since dem small.

Red marks full him body, messy anyhow.

Na my hand cause am, I know. All those play play wey we dey do, scratch mark no dey hide for dark skin. I remember as I dey drag am, dey laugh, the way e go dey shout my name, as if say the world dey end. I come dey use finger draw circle for the mark, dey admire my handiwork. Na love dey cause all this wahala.

He just stand for window, no shirt, dey light cigarette.

Window small, breeze dey enter small small. Tobi face serious, e eyes dey far. As e puff smoke, the white cloud just dey dance for air, like masquerade dey pass for night vigil. Even the way e hold the stick, you go know say e don see life.

“Ada.”

Tobi turn, blow smoke, the thing just dey swirl around him face.

But him voice clear: “Marry me.”

I still dey daze, hear am but e take me small time before I understand, just dey blink anyhow.

The voice enter my ear but my mind dey wander. I dey remember all the wahala for house, all the plans wey I dey run. As e talk am, my heart miss one beat. Na real proposal be this?

“Ehn?”

I dey act like say I no hear am well, but I hear am clear. My mind dey run, but I no wan let am see say I dey panic.

Tobi look me soft, repeat am:

“Marry me, abeg.”

This one carry weight, e voice small low. For Nigeria, if man say 'abeg' join, e mean say the thing dey his mind well well. I dey look am, the love for him eye dey show but fear still dey hide under.

Na that time my eye clear.

Na like say spirit slap me. Proposal wey person dey find since na im just land for my leg, and see as I dey behave. For my mind, I dey balance calculation — marriage now, wahala go increase. Na big decision.

For inside, I shock, but I no gree show am for face.

Person no fit let man see say e dey fear, especially person like Tobi wey dey always form hard guy. So I just squeeze face, dey act normal, dey use mouth dey play.

I wave am make e come.

I wave like say I dey call pikin come collect sweet, but my hand dey shake small. For Lagos, if you wave person like that, e mean say 'come, make we talk.'

Tobi off the cigarette, waka come my side.

He crush am for small plate wey we dey use for ash, carry leg waka come my side slow. That time, my heart dey do gbim gbim.

He carry my hand, kiss am.

He bend, kiss my knuckles, the thing dey sweet me. For our side, na old school men dey behave like that, but Tobi own carry him own swag.

I reason am well: “I feel say as we dey now, e dey okay like that.”

I dey form strong head, but deep down, na fear dey hold me. I no sure if I fit give am the commitment wey e dey ask, especially as my papa own wahala dey wait for back. But my eye dey dodge am, I dey fear make my voice no shake.

Tobi stop, the hope for him eyes just vanish, small darkness enter am.

As hope run comot from him face, I just see small pikin wey dem deny him toy. The room come cold small. I feel sorry but I still dey act strong.

He bite my finger, like say na punishment.

He just catch my finger, bite am small, playfully but e pain me like hot pepper touch wound, but I still dey smile. E be like say e dey vex, but na him own way of showing say e care.

I frown, pain catch me.

I frown well, squeeze face, but the pain dey sweet me small. I dey form say I vex, but Tobi know say I just dey play.

He quick release, come put my finger for him mouth, dey pet am.

He just dey rub my finger, dey blow small breeze for am. Na small thing, but e dey make my heart dey do one kind. For Naija, this one pass ordinary romance, na care e mean.

...

For outside, Tobi dey behave gentle, cool, and correct.

If you see Tobi for street, you go think say na pastor pikin. E dey dress neat, always dey greet elders well, dey help carry load for neighbour. Even my mama like am when she see am first. But inside, na another person dey live.

But under all that, e get one kind twisted, wahala possessiveness.

The way e dey hold me sometimes, e dey like say if I try run, e go tie me down. But na love dey cause am, I know. Sometimes, I dey wonder if na jazz, but my friend tell me say na so e dey do when man love woman well.

Na God save me say him family no too get level. If to say dem get money, e for hard to escape.

If na all those big men pikin, e for hard to waka comot. Dem go use money block all your road. But Tobi family na just manage, so I fit still plan my waka.

I just pout, start to act like say I dey pity myself: “You sabi as my family be. I even borrow money pay school fees. I just finish school now, abeg, make I hustle small, make money.”

I squeeze mouth, form pity face, dey act like say my life hard pass everybody own. If na Nollywood, dem for don give me award for best actress.

Tobi look me, small pressure dey for him eye, e no too happy.

I see say he dey try hold in vex, but e just dey look me like say make I talk true.

“Wetin about me?”

Him voice small low, as if e dey beg. Na the first time I see Tobi look so unsure.

“E be like say I no dey your plan.”

I quick shake head, dey rush my words. I no want make e feel say I dey use am play.

My heart shake, I rush explain: “No na, you dey my plan. When we get money later, buy big house, then we go marry.”

I dey add dream join, dey try paint picture say our future go sweet if we hustle first. For my mind, I dey beg God make e believe.

“Tobi, I wan make plenty money. Na only money dey give me rest of mind.”

The person wey I dey pretend for am na poor girl wey like money die.

If you see as I dey talk, you go think say na money dey run my blood. I dey act the role well, so Tobi go no suspect.

Tobi touch my cheek, talk slow:

“If na so, wetin if I get plenty money?”

Him eyes dark, serious pass anything.

The thing shock me small.

My mind flash, abi e dey suspect? But I just dey smile anyhow, dey form say na joke.

I smile: “Then give me all your money, I go marry you.”

I dey try use play play cover seriousness wey dey the air.

“So you love me, or na money you love?”

The question land, but I dodge am with laugh. E be like say the thing dey pain am, but I no wan make matter strong.

...

Wetin dey do Tobi this night?

Why e serious like this?

My mind dey turn, I dey try reason. Normally, Tobi no dey ask this kind question. Na today e just dey act different. Maybe e suspect something, or e dey plan something for back.

I no wan continue the talk, so I pull him hand come closer.

I just use my hand drag am near, dey play with him beard. I sabi say once I touch am, him brain go reset.

“Tobi, I still want...”

Before I fit talk finish, e just use him mouth block mine. The kiss no be play play. E strong, as if e wan swallow me.

Next thing, my mouth don block.

My breath no even fit complete. E dey use kiss cover my mouth, as if e dey fear make I talk truth.

Tobi no gree hear word. No matter how I beg, e no work.

I try push am small, but Tobi just hold me tight. I try laugh, but e no let me go. I just surrender.

Last last, I faint.

My body just weak, I no fit move again. Tobi still dey hold me, I dey hear my name for him mouth.

Before I pass out, I fit hear am mumble:

“Why no be me you love?”

The voice carry small pain. For my mind, I dey pity am, but I just dey float.