Chapter 3: Palm Grove Secrets

I dey stay for Palm Grove Estate—name sweet, but na face-me-I-face-you wey soakaway dey leak every week.

The compound dey smell of soakaway, children dey run up and down, shouting. But I dey always form like say na big man area. If dem ask, I go say I dey live for estate.

But to Morayo, e still better pass nothing.

She look the house, no complain. I see as she dey thank me with her eye. For person wey just comot prison, anywhere wey get roof and light na palace.

Truth be say, apart from my fake work as social volunteer, I be just one useless person for this life.

I no get work, no plan. My papa dey village, my mama don die. I just dey survive with street sense. The only thing wey I fit boast of na my car and this my small room.

No money, too lazy to work. The only thing wey get value for my life na that my old car wey nearly reach my age.

Sometimes, I dey talk to the car like say na my padi. E dey carry me go everywhere, never disappoint me. I dey always pray make e no knock one day, because if e knock, na wahala.

Short, ugly—no way I fit get babe the normal way.

I dey look mirror, dey vex for my face. My nose big, my mouth bend, my head round like agbalumo. But this my plan dey work—na all I need.

But with this my trick, I don sleep with plenty fine women wey get better body.

I dey remember them—Ada with the gap tooth, Sade with the big yansh, even Ngozi wey sabi cook. All of them pass through my bed, all of them thank me before dem waka go.

If no be say Morayo don go prison, she for no even look my side for road.

I dey honest with myself. For normal ground, she go waka pass me, no even greet. But na condition bend crayfish.

But now, she don enter my old car, even follow me reach this my rough house.

I dey smile, dey feel like champion. For my mind, I dey tell myself say I dey do better thing, even if e no pure.

I get way to make her enter my bed by herself, dey beg me like goat wey dey wait for sallah, dey beg.

I dey plan am—small small, I go use my method. No be today I start this game. But for my mind, I dey ask if this one go different.