Chapter 9: Letting Go

Not long after, brutal orientation activities started. Even with my usual stamina, I was exhausted.

Melissa, who couldn’t handle the sun, got several shades darker.

Sarah complained endlessly on Instagram.

The three of us planned to eat together again.

Since Rachel had treated us last time, I wanted to return the favor, so I messaged her. She refused.

I felt a little disappointed. Her dislike was obvious. If even the school heartthrob wasn’t good enough, what chance did I have?

I suddenly wondered what kind of guy she liked.

Someone that unreliable, and yet she cared so much.

I couldn’t even describe how I felt.

A hopeless crush should be let go, I told myself.

I started avoiding Rachel, steering clear of any event where she might show up.

I was scared that seeing her would make my heart race again, and I’d just fall deeper.

Later, I heard from Sarah that Rachel had moved on, was busy with all sorts of competitions, and didn’t have time to dwell on those things.

And I didn’t see her at all for the rest of the semester.

When winter break rolled around, it was still just me, Sarah, and Melissa hanging out. Rachel didn’t join us. Sarah said she’d come back a couple days later.

Our group chat still had her name in it, but it was mostly memes and dumb TikToks. Sometimes I’d scroll up and see her old messages, wondering if she’d ever come back to the fold.