Chapter 4: Crossroads and Cold Rooms

I no know wetin dey Halima mind that time, but me, na true I talk.

For my mind, I dey reason say make peace just reign. If Halima stay with me, nobody go fit use me do scapegoat.

If Halima stay with me tonight, the wahala no go happen.

If she follow me, no person go fit plant story. If she waka, na her own wahala.

And as I don live pass Halima by ten years now,

I dey reason like elder. Experience dey show for my eye. I no dey rush again.

She just be like small pikin wey waka wrong road for my eye.

Her wahala no dey shock me. I dey pity am small. Life never really beat her reach sense.

Maybe something do her for school, make her dey find rich boyfriend like craze.

For this country, girls dey hustle their own way. Halima dey do wetin she sabi, but e get as e dey do me for chest.

But she still dey form, so she use me do scapegoat.

She no want make her own name spoil, so she dey find person wey go chop the blame.

She wan make everybody think say I dey jealous say Musa Sinian like her,

If dem talk tomorrow, na me dem go say dey fight for love, dey cause wahala.

So I carry her go school hard guy room on purpose.

Na so the story go fly for campus. "Kamsi wan disgrace Halima, so she carry her go Yao Ade room."

Her plan work well for my last life.

E pain me. I no fit sleep for months, because everywhere I go, na finger dem dey point.

Next day after party, na my name be bad thing.

Even for church, the gossip reach there. "That Kamsi, she too get bad mind."

Everybody dey curse me, talk say I wicked.

I no fit count how many people unfollow me for WhatsApp. Even my roommate dey form stranger.

Small small, I start to believe say na my fault say I high and carry her go wrong room.

Guilt begin chop my mind. My book no dey enter head again. I dey pray every night make people forget the matter.

Na me make her disappear for ten years.

Halima waka commot campus, nobody see am. Some say she travel, some say she enter big man hand. But na my name still dey follow the gist.

And make Musa Sinian lose the woman wey him love.

Musa dey cry every day. He go dey look window, dey sigh. Me I go dey cook, he no go chop. Na that time I know say heartbreak no be small thing.

So I try everything to pay back. When I no fit see Halima, all my sorry go to Musa Sinian.

I go dey buy him favorite snack, dey write note, dey beg him. But him heart hard pass kpangolo.

I try love am, hope say my heart go change am, make him no hate me again.

I force myself. I dey look him face for night, dey pray say maybe one day, love go grow. But love no dey force for Naija, abeg.

After all, na the Musa family adopt me since I small, raise me for more than ten years. I no fit pay them back.

Musa mama treat me like pikin. She buy me wrapper, teach me cook. I dey grateful, so I gree do anything to make Musa happy.

But last last, na me dem deceive pass.

I dey try cover everybody happiness, but na me chop all the pepper. My eye clear after we die.

Musa Sinian fit die for Halima, and use marriage tie me down.

Musa no love me true true. He dey do like say he care, but na Halima dey his heart.

He no gree give me any chance to spoil Halima happiness.

He dey protect her, even from afar. My own na just to dey exist for house.

The day of the accident, na to find Musa Sinian I dey, to tell am where Halima dey.

I waka full town, my leg pain me. I just dey find way to talk to Musa before e too late.

That day, I even hear from Yao Ade wetin happen to Halima for those ten years.

Yao voice sad. He say Halima life no pure, say she run follow big man, chop money, but e no end well for am. I begin pity her small.

I wan make him see Halima true colour.

I dey pray make Musa open eye, see say Halima no pure. If him free himself, maybe he go fit love me well.

Make him stop to dey feel guilty say he high and no protect Halima for graduation party.

That guilt dey chop him spirit. I wan help am break free.

But before I fit talk, na so we die.

Before I open mouth, na car jam us. All my secret go with me.

I thank God say I get second chance.

Not everybody dey get this kind luck for Naija. My ancestors dey my side this time.

Just now for dinner, I dey think—

I dey reason for table, dey watch people laugh, dey remember all the mistake of last life.

How I go use this new life?

I dey pray say make I use am shine, no dey repeat foolishness. I go let everybody chop the consequence of their own wahala.

I think say I go show Halima pepper, make she see disgrace.

Part of me dey plan, say I go expose her for front of everybody. But the way I see her tonight, I just soft small.

But as I look the fine girl before me, my heart soft.

She be human being too. Everybody dey fight one battle or another. Maybe na her own pain dey push her.

So when Halima beg me make I carry her go rest,

My leg heavy, but I gree follow. Old wound dey pinch me, but I no fit waka leave her.

I gree, but I give her option. This time, I no go force anybody. Everybody go choose their own way.

I ask her for front of everybody if she wan sleep with me.

People laugh, but my face serious. If she wan follow me, na peace. If she wan waka, na her own cross.

If she choose to stay with me tonight, no do any wahala,

If she gree, tomorrow I go make sure say nobody use me do scapegoat.

I go forget the last life matter.

I dey ready to free the old pain. New life, new rules.

After all, this na new timeline.

Anything fit happen. Person fit change destiny if e get sense.

Wetin she do me before, no concern this one.

I no go judge her with yesterday mistake. Everybody fit change, if dem want.

But if she still wan do the same mistake, I go let her be.

If she wan repeat old wahala, na she go chop am. I no be saviour again.

Everybody go answer for their own decision.

For Naija, na so e be. If you like, do good. If you like, do bad. Everybody go explain their own for judgment day.

So, as Halima drag me reach the space between two rooms,

Her hand dey shake, she dey sweat. I dey watch her, dey see if na acting or na real highness dey hold her.

I ask her again:

"You go decide by yourself.

Sleep here tonight, or follow me go another room."

I give her choice. Na only her fit choose the road wey she go waka.

That moment, Halima high, her eyes dey turn as she look me.

Her eyelash dey shake, her leg dey weak. If you see her, you go think say she go faint any minute.

But as she hear my question, she still try shake her head, dey try clear her eye.

She dey reason am. Her face twist, her hand dey press her head. For her mind, calculation dey run like NEPA meter.

"Make I think."

Her voice small, almost like whisper.

"Ah, I no remember."

She dey murmur, like person wey dey pray for church. Her mouth twist like say she wan cry.

Halima talk, knock her head small.

She use hand tap her head, as if she wan reset her brain. People for corridor dey pass, dey laugh, but I dey watch only her.

As I see this, I talk say make I just clear her confusion, make she choose.

No time to waste. Everybody dey wait for drama.

"Left na..."

I dey point the room. I wan help her remember who dey where, make she choose without wahala.

I wan talk say left na Yao Ade, right na Musa Sinian, and me dey here with you.

I dey try explain, but my mind dey run fast. I dey watch her eye.

But before I fit finish, Halima cut me.

Her voice sharp, her face change. The act drop, truth dey show small.

"I forget who I put drug for drink..."

My ear stand. The thing hit me for chest. Na confession or na mistake? My eye wide.

That one hit me like thunder, my body freeze.

Na like say cold breeze blow me for inside body. I dey remember all the times wey I trust Halima.

That moment—

Time slow down. The music fade. Na only her voice dey my ear.

As I look Halima, all I fit see na rotten thing.

Na so evil dey hide for fine face. Her beauty na mask, the inside no pure.

The fine flower don rotten from ground.

Even rose get thorn. Halima own sharp pass needle. My mind dey warn me: shine eye.

To get wetin she want, she go use dirty trick.

Some people go do anything for survival. This life no balance.

I begin wonder if she don drug me too.

My hand dey shake. I dey look my glass, dey reason if na water or poison I sip tonight.

My body just move back, I comot from her.

I no wan touch her. My skin dey crawl. I gree, make everybody carry their own wahala.

I ask her again.

I still give her one more chance. If she wan talk truth, make she talk am now.

But na the same answer I get.

Halima dey lost. She no fit remember. Her brain dey float. I dey pity her, but I no fit help am again.

She talk:

"Anybody fit do, just choose one."

She wave her hand, like say she dey share food for beggar. My heart cold. I step back, no wan near her again.

I take deep breath, close my eyes.

I dey pray for wisdom. Make I no dey use another person sin carry curse.

I decide to free my saviour spirit and let her face her own wahala.

Everybody get their own cross. This time, I no go use my body cover another person shame.

So I just watch as she waka enter Musa Sinian room by herself.

She stagger small, but she gree waka. My mind dey calm, I no go run follow her again.

Then I turn, open the next room.

My own path different. This time, I go use my sense.

Halima no remember who she drug.

But me, my last life memory dey sharp.

No be today I dey suffer for book. My head dey record everything.

As she talk am, I know who get the drug.

I dey reason, dey plan. Tonight, no be me dem go use do scapegoat.

Tonight, na the school hard guy I go save.

Yao Ade na my own mission tonight. No more hero for people wey no deserve am.

As I open the door, cold breeze just hit me.

E be like say AC dey on full blast. The room get different smell—like mint and sweat mix. I shiver small, but I still gree enter.

The room dey scatter, water full ground.

Somebody pour water everywhere. My slippers almost slide. I dey tiptoe, dey avoid make I no fall.

I follow the sound of water, look up.

I hear small splash, like person dey wash head for bathroom, but na living room we dey.

The always stubborn, bad boy school hard guy dey sit for ground, lean on sofa.

Yao Ade leg wide, he dey breathe heavy. Him tattoo dey show small for him shoulder. The kind guy wey if you see for road, you go cross to the other side.

He dey pour cold water for head.

Everywhere wet. Water drip from him face enter floor. Na like say he dey try cool body wey dey boil.

Him shirt don commot, na only grey joggers dey him body.

The cloth dey tight, stick for skin. The muscle for him arm show well. Person fit dey shy look am twice.

Yao Ade bend head.

Him eye no dey look anybody. Him face deep, as if na war him fight.

Him black short hair dey wet, stick for face, cover part of him eye.

Some strands dey for him eyebrow. I almost wan help am adjust am, but I hold myself.

Water dey drop from him jaw, fall for him trouser.

Na small small river dey form for floor. I dey fear say I fit slip if I no careful.

One drop, two drops, e dey spread.

Everywhere for ground dey reflect light. The room cold, but my chest dey hot.

Just to look am, person fit thirsty.

I swallow spit. The boy fine, no be small.

The guy long finger dey squeeze the plastic bottle till e dey make noise.

The bottle dey bend, water dey splash. Na like say he dey squeeze him anger inside plastic.

Yao Ade bend head back, as water finish, he even put tongue inside bottle dey lick.

Na wah o. I no fit laugh, but inside me dey tickle. Yao tongue red, he dey lick inside bottle as if he dey find last drop. Bad boy style.

The red tongue dey turn inside bottle, then hide again for him lips.

My mind dey wander, but I clear am quick. I no come here for romance.

The Yao Ade wey I know before, na red hair and earring, full of gra gra.

I remember the boy wey dey fight for canteen, dey break rules. But tonight, e dey different. Fine boy with small pain for eye.

Now, the same fine face dey shine.

Even with all the wahala, Yao face still sharp. Some people get beauty wey no dey fade.

But as him skin red, breath dey heavy, you go know say wahala dey.

The heat from inside dey show for body. Something dey worry am.

He slow small, na now he see say person enter.

He turn neck slow, like say he dey wake from dream. The look for him face na half fight, half tiredness.

He no even look up, he just bark:

"Wetin you dey find for here? Abeg, shift before wahala start."

Him voice rough, like person wey dey drag generator for street. If na another day, I for run commot.

But as he turn and see say na me, the 'no touch me' just die for him mouth.

The surprise shock am. He pause, eye blink, mouth half open. All the gra gra fade.

He try hide for fridge, but him leg fail, he fall for ground.

He reach for fridge door, but body weak. He slip, land for ground. I rush come close, dey watch make him no hit head.

I carry one bottle cold water, open am, give am.

I get hospital training. I open water, press am for him hand. "Drink, you go cool down." My voice soft, I dey try calm am.

"Yao Ade, where your phone? Make I call doctor for you."

I dey look for solution. I search him pocket with eye, dey find anything wey fit help.

He raise head, gulp the water, e dey pour for him lips and neck.

Some splash enter my hand. I no complain. As long as e help am.

Then, as him head dey turn, he dey find him phone for trouser.

He fumble, hand dey search everywhere. Him hand dey shake, but determination full am.

I see say the pocket dey bulge, e be like phone dey inside.

I dey reason say maybe na phone, or something wey go help us.

But after long time, he no fit find the pocket.

The jogger tight, him hand dey slip. I gree, say make I help am.

He look me, eyes blur.

He dey lose focus. I dey worry, hope say nothing serious no dey happen to am.

Him red lips dey shake, but I no hear wetin he dey talk.

He dey mumble, the words no clear. I move closer, dey try hear.

I think say na because he clumsy.

For my mind, na drink dey worry am. I dey ready to help.

So I pull him hand, put my own inside.

I dey gentle, make I no cause more wahala. My finger dey search for phone.

But as my hand enter, I regret am.

Na hotness greet me. Something strong, something wey I no expect. My body freeze. Na so I remember say e fit be drug wey dey worry am, no be just drink.

With all the years I get for hospital for last life,

I don see all sort of things. This one different. The heat strong.

That thing no be phone at all.

My eye wide, I gree. I just lock up. Na only God fit judge person for this kain wahala.

Before I fit shout, Yao Ade don dey breathe heavy for my ear.

E dey close, the breath hot like suya fire. My heart begin race, but I no wan panic.

Him hot breath dey touch my ear, I just turn my head quick—

I dey pray say make this boy no collapse for here. My eye dey meet him own.

Na so I jam Yao Ade red eyes.

The fire inside the eye fit burn cloth. I swallow spit. The air thick, only the two of us dey hear our own heart.

"I... I go find person for you."

I stand quick, but Yao grip my hand. The hold strong, like say he dey beg me with him body.

My hand dey shake small as I reach for him, but I package face make e no show.

I try stand up, but he press me down.

E no wan let me go. Him voice low, but him hand dey firm.

Him hand, through cloth, dey press my own.

I dey reason say make I no shout, make people no come see drama. But the thing serious.

Another heavy breath escape him.

He dey battle with him self, but e still dey try hold ground.

Maybe the thing make him clear small, because him voice crack come out:

"Kamsi."

E call my name. The way e sound, e soft like prayer. My heart skip.

I shock, dey look the weak Yao Ade.

I dey reason say how bad boy fit soft like this? The world dey turn for my front.

I surprise small.

E shock me. Yao sabi my name, even for this condition. I feel small hope.

So na my name he dey call since.

No be mistake. The boy dey call for help. I dey ready to answer.

Even as he dey like this, he still sabi me.

No be everybody dey remember who stand for them for wahala. Yao dey look me with small respect, small plead.

But why Musa Sinian miss am for my last life? Why he mistake me for another person?

My mind dey run. I dey try connect the dots. Something no clear for the story.

Or maybe Musa Sinian just dey use me play?

If Musa fit lie for small thing, e fit lie for big one. I dey pray make my head no turn mumu again.

The more I think am, the more vex dey catch me.

My chest dey burn. Old pain dey wake up for my bone.

So I move close, bend down, carry Yao Ade chin up.

I dey gentle, my hand soft for him jaw. My eye dey search him own, dey find the truth wey nobody fit hide.

I look am straight for eye.

If truth dey inside, I go see am. If lie dey, I go smell am for air.

"Talk am again. Who I be?"

My voice steady. I dey wait. If na my name, let him call am with clear mouth.

As my hand touch am, I feel heat.

E be like say electricity dey pass between us. The room cold, but my hand dey hot. Yao eye dey red, but e dey soft.

As I wan comot my hand, Yao Ade grab am with two hands, rub him cheek for am.

He hold me tight, like say I be anchor for storm. The heat for him body dey pass through my skin. I no fit talk, na only heart dey beat for my ear.

Him eyes move from my lips go my eyes, until our eyes jam.

Na so everything pause. My mind clear, my spirit dey calm. For that moment, na only me and Yao Ade—heat, fear, and secret—dey inside that cold room.