Chapter 1: System Wahala Land Me for Lagos

Ten years after I die, na so one strange system just carry me come back to life. System? Na wetin? I no even know, but e just dey talk for my head like Google Assistant wey get wahala.

This kain matter, you no dey even hear am for Nollywood. Me wey don forget myself, na so dem wake me from grave—abeg, no fear, e never reach that kind mami water story. Na just system wahala dey worry me so.

E come talk say I must save the villain, wey don already enter darkness.

As I dey hear am, my body cold like person wey just chop witch slap. Save who? Villain? For Naija? Abeg, e nor make sense!

But I no remember anything at all.

See as my mind just blank, like when NEPA take light inside my head. No memory, nothing—my own na clean slate, like pikin wey just start school.

So, the first time wey I sight the villain from far, before I fit near am,

my mind dey reason how I go waka pass, just form say I be passerby. But trust Naija boys, dem no dey dull at all.

Na him boys chase me away.

Dem nor even reason my face, just bounce me anyhow. I land for ground, dust full body. God abeg!

My elbow knack concrete, pain shoot me reach bone, before my eye begin see bullet comments like say I dey hallucinate.

My eye sef wan see double—imagine, na online wahala still dey my head as I dey suffer for street. See as comments dey waka like magic!

[Here we go again. I don tire to count how many people don come try "save" the villain.]

Omo, even my village people for WhatsApp no dey yarn pass this one. See monitoring spirit!

[All these years, the system don arrange countless stand-ins to steady the villain, afraid say him go scatter the world.]

[Some resemble the villain’s late wife, some get her kind of character, some even land with her full memory...]

[But all of them don fail.]

[How many days this one wey no get anything special go last?]