Chapter 4: Canteen Gist and Sacking Set Up

One day, person ask me, “How far Musa sabi for tech?”

Na for company canteen, one junior engineer dey toast bread and egg, e come ask me. I just laugh inside.

I answer, “E normal. But e sabi make friends with oga dem.”

I no mean am bad. For Naija, person wey sabi people fit pass person wey sabi work.

Word reach Musa Bello.

Omo, as matter reach Musa, e no waste time. Person wey dey form your guy, fit carry your gist reach your enemy. Na office wahala.

I no mean anything, but the guy carry am for mind.

From that day, e face change for me. E begin dey look me like suspect.

For every launch, Musa dey parade himself as ‘chief engineer’—e no fit stand anybody wey go expose am.

If I talk for meeting, e go cut me. If I try suggest new thing, e go twist am as if na him bring idea.

When economy bend, tech companies everywhere begin feel am.

Even bank dey sack people. My landlord dey increase rent, bag of rice dey cost pass before. Everybody dey pray make dem keep work.

Ribo share price fall. People begin dey talk say dem wan sack people.

Rumour full everywhere. For WhatsApp group, people dey advise make you keep CV ready.

I no ever think say na me dem go first sack.

I think say my track record go protect me, but office politics no dey look face.

I go back my desk to pack, my head just blank.

As I dey pack my mouse, mug, all the small small souvenirs, I dey remember as I buy them with first salary. E pain me.

I remember the first day I bring this mug—na office gift, wey I win for hackathon. E pain me say I dey carry am go now.

I hear, “Good morning, Mr. Musa,” for door. I look up, see Musa Bello with big belle, dey waka come.

E don chop well—life dey soft for am. Suit tight for body, shoes dey shine. I just dey watch as e dey waka like big man.

Maybe na too much business dinner—just three years, e don turn proper middle-aged man, oil dey shine for face.

I fit smell him expensive perfume, e dey choke everywhere. The AC sef dey fear am.

E dey greet everybody: “Morning, everybody! Morning!”

You go think say e dey contest for chairman. All the junior staff dey hail am.

E reach my side, pretend say e surprise: “Ah, Engineer Kunle, why you dey pack?”

E form innocent face, but inside e eye, I see calculation. E no really care, na show e dey do.

People begin look my side.

Everybody pause, dey wait drama. Na Naija office, everybody dey find gist.

Musa suddenly remember something, raise voice: “Wait, dem dey sack Engineer Kunle?”

E raise voice so that even cleaner for corridor go hear. Na disgrace tactics be that.

Everywhere quiet—everybody dey look me.

Na so pin drop silence enter. Even AC stop blow.

I talk, “Yes. Abeg, make I pack finish.”

I talk am calm, no raise voice. I no wan give am power over me.

But Musa no really dey talk to me.

E dey perform for audience. E dey find clap, make e look like say e dey pity me.

E turn, waka round me, dey form pity:

E dey act like say e dey sad, but smile dey corner of e mouth.

“Na wa o. Engineer Kunle na old hand o.”

People dey nod, some dey whisper. Everybody sabi say I don dey from day one.

“Company dey adjust people, and dem sack Engineer Kunle. I no understand—plenty tech people dey, why na you?”

E dey set stage make people suspect say na my fault.

“Dem check everybody KPI so?”

E dey code am like say na process, but e get plan.

Me, I no like all those official wahala, so my reports dey short, I dey focus on real work.

Na so I dey always do. For Naija, if you too dey write report, dem fit say you no dey work. If you no write, dem fit sack you. Wahala be like bicycle.

The KPI wey Musa dey talk, na just another formality.

Na to cover yansh for HR sake. Real work dey for code, no be paper.

“I don work with Engineer Kunle before, e pain me well.”

If e dey pain am, e no go dey smile like say e win lottery. All na acting.

“But company no dey keep people wey no dey work.”

E dey sub me direct, make people dey suspect say I dey lazy. Na wah.

“If Engineer Kunle go and everything still dey okay, everybody go see who just dey chop salary for free.”

Na set up be this. If system crash, e go blame me. If e no crash, e go claim say I no add value. E sharp well.

The more e talk, the louder e dey, e dey look me like say e dey happy for my wahala.

One junior staff cough, another one just dey look ground. Nobody wan talk, but their eye dey pity me.

For Naija, some people go pretend say dem dey feel your pain, but na your downfall dem dey enjoy. I just dey watch am.