Chapter 1: Locking Crush Inside

When I was seventeen, I catch one crush that year, but I just lock am for my chest.

Sometimes, after evening prayers, as I dey help my mama arrange plates for the kitchen, the smell of frying onions and ogiri dey fill the kitchen as I dey help my mama. My mind go just waka go Seyi. My heart go dey do somehow if I even hear his name for corridor. But for this my Naija house, to talk say you dey crush for person? Na wahala—if my siblings catch that gist, dem fit use am tease me tire. So I package the feelings for inside, as e dey hot, like soup wey still dey fire.

My family no get money. To buy am birthday present, I dey save for one whole year.

Na so every day, I dey keep the small change wey remain after I buy bread for my mama, or when my papa send me go buy pure water. Sometimes, my younger brother go beg me for sweet, I go just bone, dey protect my small savings. Sometimes, I go lie say I no hungry, just to save the money wey dem give me for gala or small chops. Na so I dey count kobo, dey wrap am for one nylon, hide am under my mattress. Sometimes, I go check am, count am again, dey pray make the thing reach.

The day wey wahala meet my mama, na so I leave school early.

That afternoon, the sun no even get pity, e dey shine anyhow. My mind no too rest, so as bell ring for break, I tell my teacher say my belle dey pain me. Dem gree make I go house. I no know say that decision go change my life, but na so life be—e dey use small things carry big wahala enter.

By chance, I hear am dey laugh with him padi: “This thing, even third-place prize from mama put better pass am, abi?”

My leg freeze as I hide for back of one pillar. The way Seyi voice take sound, e sweet am to dey mock, as if the gift no get meaning. For where I stand, I fit see him side, him hand dey wave anyhow as he dey talk. My chest just dey tight. I bite my tongue, dey pray make ground swallow me. My hand dey shake for my back.

Him friend burst laugh. “I know say Seyi no like am. If you no want, abeg give me. I fit sell am, get small money go cybercafe!”

The friend na that type wey like wahala, always dey look for how to shine for group. As him talk am, I see as other people dey look, some dey laugh, others dey just face their own.

“If you want am, carry go,” Seyi just talk anyhow, throw the watch give am. Na that time our eyes jam.

My body just cold. The way Seyi take throw the watch, e resemble person wey dey throw akara wey don pass. E pain me. Na then Seyi look up, our eye jam—my own dey full water, e own dey sharp like razor.

Later, for class reunion, I hear say Seyi dey find me for eight years.

Na gist wey shock everybody, because for our set, nobody ever reason say Seyi fit even remember me, not to talk of dey find me for that long. Some people dey even talk say maybe e wan ask for forgiveness, or maybe e life no too sweet again since that day. But all that na tori for another day.