Chapter 3: Family Broken

When I reach house, my papa dey sit for door, cheap cigarette for him mouth, worry full him face.

As I cross the small gutter for front of our compound, I see am. E leg dey up for bench, the wrapper wey e tie for waist don shift. E no even greet me as usual. The smoke from the cigarette dey dance for air, but e eyes dey far.

My mama no dey.

Normally, she for dey outside, dey pluck scent leaf for evening soup, but the chair wey she dey always sit empty. The thing worry me.

He hand me one medical report—e talk say my mama get breast cancer.

The brown envelope dey old, the paper inside don fold. As I open am, I dey try read the English, the words dey shake for my eye. But the one wey enter me na "malignant" and "urgent treatment." My hand dey shake. I just dey mutter, “God abeg, no let my mama go yet.”

My papa puff smoke, talk: “To treat breast cancer na hundred, two hundred thousand. Your mama and me don talk... we no go treat am.”

The voice get one kain finality, like person wey don resign. The smoke wey e puff just linger for my face, e make my eyes pepper.

“Your mama say she wan chop my peppered goat meat. Go buy the things, I go carry her come soon.”

E try smile, but na sorrow I see for e face. Goat meat, na her favourite. I just nod, my leg dey heavy.

I no gree believe. I open the report read am again and again, my voice dey shake. “Na sure? Dem dey make mistake for health centre. Tomorrow I go carry Mama go check again. E fit be say dem miss am...”

My own heart dey hope say na mix up. Maybe na another person report. Maybe my mama go dey okay. As I dey talk, my hand dey shake. My papa just dey look me, him own eyes red.

I dey look my papa stubbornly.

I no wan gree. I dey hope say if I show enough stubbornness, God go change am. I dey bite my lip, dey wait for him to argue back.

Him eye red, but he just dey look me, no talk.

Na silence carry pain pass. The way e just dey look, e mean say e don gree for mind.

Na there, tears just start to fall, I no fit hold am.

The tears just dey pour. I try wipe, but e no stop. My chest dey heavy, my nose dey run.

Finally, I cry, “I no go school again. Make we treat Mama.”

The words just burst from my mouth. I no even think am finish, but na the only thing wey make sense for my head.

My papa just bow head.

E dey hold the cigarette but the fire don quench. E just dey shake small. The pain for room thick.

I know—my papa dey feel pain reach bone.

Even as e dey try strong, I fit see say e own pain dey deep. Na man wey life don show pepper, but this one pass am.

My papa leg no straight. That year, na only my mama gree stay with am, she no ever mind say he get disability, always dey encourage am.

People for village dey gossip that time, say my mama fit marry better person, but she no send anybody. E always dey stand for my papa side, dey make him laugh even when money no dey. Dem be real partners.

Even though we poor, my papa and mama love themselves well.

For our house, na love dey hold us. Even when rain dey leak roof or garri dey almost finish, my parents go still dey gist and laugh for evening. Na small happiness dey sweet pass.

When I dey JSS2, my classmates dey talk about belief.

That day, dem dey talk about heaven, juju, and all those things. Some dey argue say God dey, some dey say e no sure.

I ask my papa, “Papa, wetin be your belief?”

I wan know wetin dey keep am strong. Wetin dey make am dey happy despite all the wahala.

He no understand, so I try explain give am.

I talk say, "Like, wetin you believe for inside your mind? Like hope or prayer or..."

He just scratch head, shy. “My belief na your mama.”

E say am with small laugh. My mama for kitchen hear, she come out, dey eye am like say e don talk nonsense. But e wink give me, and I just laugh.

Later...

I get my own belief too.

I tell myself say I go make my parents proud. One day, I go carry dem go see Zuma Rock, eat jollof rice for better restaurant. My belief strong.

I wan grow, make money, carry my papa and mama go see the world.

I dey dream say I go fly dem enter plane, even if na to Lagos. I wan see my papa smile for airport, my mama wear better wig.

Now, my papa belief don fall. My own too don scatter.

That day, e be like say all the things wey dey hold me for inside just break. The hope wey dey push me before no dey again.

I hold my papa hand, tell myself, “I go stop school, find work. Make we go Abuja treat Mama.”

As I talk am, e feel heavy but I no care. I go do anything for my mama.

My papa just dey smoke, no talk.

E just dey look outside like say answer go fall from sky. The smoke just dey go up, dey disappear.

But my mind don set.

My own mind na like iron. I no dey change plan if I don decide.

I tell my papa make he go carry my mama, then I pack my things, ready for Abuja.

I dey arrange my nylon bag, put my only fine dress inside. I tell my neighbour say make dem help lock gate. I dey move like soldier.

I waka go school alone.

For the road, na only my shadow dey follow me. I no sabi say my life dey turn another direction.