Chapter 6: Shifting Seats, Shifting Hearts

For long, me and Tunde no talk at all. I dey avoid am like wahala. If he enter class, I go look window. No more gist, no more sharing seat. I just get used to not having seatmate, face studies alone.

At first, e pain me. But after weeks, I just adapt. Desk become my territory. Less than one year remain before WAEC. Teachers dey remind us daily. Pressure everywhere. Some dey buy new notes. Me, I dey pray make I pass.

For mock exam, I score 149 for English. As I see script, I no believe. Hand dey shake. First time my name enter notice board for something good. First time I pass study prefect. Everybody shock. Study prefect always top. Even teachers hail am.

Once class finish, he move desk come my side, become my new seatmate. Everybody dey look. Some dey whisper. I just dey surprise. He laugh, gap teeth big. "Mr. Ajayi say my essay bad, say make I dey learn from you."

He drop voice, as if e dey beg me. "New seatmate, abeg, look after me." He use elbow tap me, smile dey face. I just nod, happy say person wan learn from me.

E take seconds before I realize say I get seatmate again. My heart jump. For long I dey alone. Now, person wan sit with me. I just happy small. Inside me, I dey shine like new ten naira note. I fit feel small hope for my chest.

So I quickly show am my notebook full of grammar and big words, smile small. I dey proud of my note. Plenty underlining, colored pen. I dey explain, hand dey fly up and down. "See, check am. I just cram these ones." I open two pages, dey point, hope say he go see say I try.

"Thanks." He collect, smile broad. He no even dey shame to ask me. I look up by chance—see Tunde for corner, dey look us. The way he dey stare, e be like say we dey act film.

I jam Tunde cold eyes from across class. Eyes cold like harmattan morning. I shift for seat. E be like say he don dey watch since. Jaw tight, lips twist in mocking smile. I just pretend say I no see am.

I no know say my confession pain am reach that level. E pain me small. But I no go beg am again. So tey he no even want see me happy. My mind wonder if na because of me e dey vex. But I brush thought go one side.

Next day, my new seatmate, study prefect, bring two buns with spicy akara inside. Aroma just hit nose, belle drum. He wrap am for serviette, hand am with smile. "Na for me?" I look am surprise. Class dey peep. "Yes, to thank you." He talk am soft, eyes dey my face. No be play. I collect gently, whisper, "Thank you."

I dey shy, but body dey happy. This kain kindness rare. Every good food deserve respect. I bring out bun like gold, wan chop but first close eyes, sniff am. For my mind, I dey thank God for small mercies.

Suddenly, I hear laugh by side. I look up, na Tunde stand near, dey shake head like say na him dey judge food competition. Tunde zip jacket up to chin, hands rest for study prefect desk, dey size am up. "Guy, I no believe say you get this kind taste o."

Words sharp, voice no loud but everybody hear. Eyes shine, e no pure. E be like say he dey provoke but no wan show. Study prefect squeeze face. "Tunde, wetin you mean?" He form vex, but e clear say e no wan fight.

Tunde just drop some postcards for our desk. Cards rough, some get women wey fat anyhow, wear small cloth. I no fit look well. The women for the pictures fat well well, flesh almost dey burst come outside. Dem no even look happy for picture. I dey feel shame.

"For you." He stretch hand give study prefect, as if na gift. Tunde look lazy, just dey look down. Bend head, lips twist. No smile reach eye. "No be your type be this? Make I bring poster for you tomorrow?" He talk am like joke but e pain me. Whole class dey look our side.

Study prefect vex, push chair stand up, face dark. He shout, "Who like pig?" Voice loud, people surprise. He grab bag, eyes red.

Tunde no vex. Just raise eyebrow, talk slow, "Oh." Like say e no concern am. Just dey look with cold eye. "I see say you change seat, I think say you like her. No be so?" E dey throw word, like person wey dey find trouble.

Tunde friends just join mouth, make everywhere focus on us again. People dey clap, dey shout. "Study prefect don dey like orobo!" I just dey die inside.

Study prefect curse under breath. No talk loud. Just pack books, waka. Carry desk, waka back to old seat. No look my face. Even Tunde no look me. Only laughter full class.

From beginning to end, none of them look me face. I dey feel invisible. But ears dey hot from their words. All their talk na about me. Dem dey use me play. E pain me. I just dey hold bun, dey pray make time pass.

I look scattered postcards, buns for my hand just cold, I no even chop one bite. Akara dey smell, but mouth no gree open. I wan throw am away.

Before Tunde waka, I finally talk. Voice small, but I no fit hold am. "Why you dey do like this?" My eyes red, but I gree talk. Everybody quiet small to hear.

Tunde stop, stand beside me. Cross hand for chest, look like say he dey think. Look up, eyes wander towards blackboard. No look my face. Voice calm. No answer, just ask, "Wetin? You too dey find love? You dey give your heart to every seatmate?"

He talk am slow. My chest dey tight. Tears dey my eye.

From that day, I tell myself say love no be my mate.