Chapter 7: Profile Picture Palava

Few days later, person wey get same profile picture as my grandma suddenly add me.

I dey confuse. Wetin dey play? Na so I dey double-check my contacts.

"My good pikin, na Grandma."

Her words soft, the way she dey always use when she dey call me for real life. I dey try piece everything together for my head.

I think say na mistake, maybe scammer.

Omo, e be like all those Yahoo boys wey dey use family picture run format. I no fit fall mugu.

Until Grandma call me.

Her voice come out for phone like harmattan breeze—warm, familiar.

"Nnaa, my good pikin, Grandma send her phone for repairs last month, just collect am back. You miss Grandma?"

I dey hear her laughter, the small cough wey dey always follow am. E be like say the phone finally free from mechanic hand.

My hand freeze for phone. I quickly open WhatsApp.

Omo—two profile pictures, both na that her famous aso-oke photo.

My mind dey do gymnastic. Two Grandma DPs? How e take happen?

I never set remark for Grandma, and she dey always online, dey change nickname and bio anyhow.

But this aso-oke photo, she never change am—she talk say e dey bring luck.

So na profile picture I dey use know am.

So the one with same profile picture wey dey chat with me, even dey send me money—

I dey try add two plus two, but the maths no dey maths. Who fit run this kind level?

Who be that?

The only person I add and delete this past month na Morayo.

I dey recall that day—when I vex delete her after she yarn me anyhow. I no even check anything, just block straight.

I delete am so fast, I no even check her profile picture.

Now e be like film trick. Na who I dey chat with since?

One kind feeling just enter my mind, but I no sure.

My heart dey beat kpom kpom. If na Morayo, wetin she wan achieve?

I call Auwalu make he bring his babe come confirm for me.

I no wan make mistake. As them dey check phone, everybody mouth open like say dem see ghost.

Nickname, profile picture, transfer record—all match.

Omo! Even alert show say na same name. Na so confusion full room.

Hahaha.

The laughter wey escape from my throat no be normal one—na the one wey be like say you dey laugh and cry at the same time. Life get as e be.

No possible. I dey dream?

Even Auwalu shake head. "Guy, na juju be this?"

I carefully type: "Na you be Morayo?"

She reply sharp sharp: "Na me, my good pikin."

My leg weak, I nearly fall for hostel corridor. How person go dey run me format with my own Grandma name?

I nearly drop my phone. For group chat, na so everybody begin run comment: "Ifedike don enter one chance!"

No be only me shock o, even Auwalu and his babe Zainab dey there. All of us need heart medicine that moment.

My phone still dey buzz—who know wetin fit happen next? For this Naija, na only God go judge.