Chapter 1: Christmas Money and Coconut Candy

When I was small, every Christmas, my papa go carry me and my younger sister go our oga house for Palm Grove Estate to greet them. Dem go give me one thousand naira as Christmas money—na that white envelope wey dem dey give pikin for good luck. That envelope dey soft like fresh bread, but when you hold am for hand, you go feel say better thing don enter your life, even if na just one thousand. Sometimes, the envelope still dey smell of Mama Adeyemi perfume—mix of powder and something foreign, like London soap. For those days, that kind money fit buy you two footballs and enough chin-chin to scatter your teeth. The whole house dey smell of fried chicken, and the floor dey shine as if dem just pour palm oil make e bright. The Adeyemi living room, e too big, e fit swallow my whole house. I always dey wonder whether na real gold dem take design that ceiling, because e dey shine pass anything wey I know. But as we dey collect our envelopes, the air go just cold—e get as e dey do pikin for belle sometimes, like say the money sef dey judge you.

But Sade Adeyemi no happy. She just snatch my money and hiss, “Everybody dey talk say na my papa be your papa oga. Your family just be dog wey my family dey raise. If you want your Christmas money, abeg, bark like dog first.” Her eye shine like person wey just catch last card for whot, and her mouth bend in that way wey rich people pikin dey do when dem wan show you say dem get power. All her friends dey around, dey giggle, dey look whether I go shame for public. Sade dey talk like say na play, but for her voice, you go know say e dey pain her to share anything—even ordinary envelope. My mouth wan answer her, but shame tie my tongue—if I bark, dem go laugh; if I no bark, money go waka.

Sade Adeyemi papa just shock small, then smile tell my papa, “Children dey talk anyhow, no mean anything.” As he talk am, he wave hand like politician wey dey beg for vote, come sip small maltina from him cup. Him agbada na pure white, but the lace get that expensive gold embroidery wey dey shine under light. The man just dey laugh, but if you look im eye well, you go know say im dey measure how everything dey go.

Me, vex catch me, but my papa just use leg kick me under table, come whisper make I bark sharp sharp. E just twist im mouth for my ear, say, “Make you bark, abeg, my pikin. Money no dey ground, no spoil wahala.” Na so my heart just melt for shame, but wetin man go do?

My small sister no sabi wetin dey happen. She just dey happy, begin bark like small dog wey see meat for dream, collect her own Christmas money, then come dey beg me make I buy am that sweet coconut candy wey dem dey sell for stick. Her laughter scatter for everywhere, innocent as morning sun. Sometimes, I dey jealous how pikin mind dey pure, how dem fit find happiness even for place wey pain dey fly about.

We come go sit for Adeyemi family doorstep. My sister hold her coconut candy, happy, come give me first bite. The coconut aroma just enter my nose, mix with the jollof rice smell wey dey float from backyard, as if e dey remind me say life still sweet for some people. The sun don begin go down small small, and our leg dey scratch us with sand from compound. But as we chop, my sister just dey beam, her tooth gap dey shine, and I dey wonder whether tomorrow fit better pass today.

Na so we just dey, when one keke van just rush enter Adeyemi family compound. Dust fly enter my eye, the keke tyre scream for ground, and my heart jump like frog. Group of men jump down, begin wave cutlass anyhow, dey cut people left and right. Their voice thunder for compound like rain wey dey pound zinc roof. Women begin shout, children scatter run, even the houseboy wey dey always form boss na him first dive hide for gutter. The air just change; e get as e cold, as if death waka enter the place.

Fear hold me. My leg weak, my body dey shake, na so my teeth dey jam each other like spoon for party. The coconut candy almost fall from my hand, but my sister just hold my shirt, dey shiver.

I hear Sade Adeyemi dey scream. I wan grab my sister run, but na my papa I see, e dey pull Sade instead. The scream dey loud, Sade dey cry, “Mummy! Daddy!” but na only my papa strong reach to move her.

He drag all of us go hide behind door. Cold wan kill person, but papa no even send. He remove my sister and Sade jacket, come wear that fine fine dress wey Sade dey show off before, put am for my sister body. The dress get beadwork wey dey flash light, and Sade never let anybody touch am before that day.

Just now, Sade dey use that dress dey do shakara, dey tell us say even if my papa work whole year, he no fit buy am, and she no even gree make we touch am. The memory just dey hang for my mind like mosquito for net, because Sade dey always dey count her clothes for front of us, dey raise her nose as if we be goat.

I no sabi why, but for Papa eye, Sade life dey cost pass any cloth. I no understand why papa dress my sister with that expensive cloth. I small that time, I no fit reason am, but I just hold my sister tight. My papa eye dey red like fire, but he no talk one word; his hand strong for my shoulder, like person wey no want make pikin waka loss for market.

Papa carry Sade for hand, come hold my hand, begin run. Im grip strong, like say if you slack, you go vanish for this Lagos wahala. Sade dey cry, I dey pant, my sister just dey quiet, she no sabi the danger wey dey ground.

My sister try follow, but papa just push am comot for door. She stumble, her coconut candy almost drop, but she hug am for chest like baby wey dem wan collect.

Noise everywhere, but my papa just shout, “I don find Adeyemi family pikin!” E voice loud pass all the other noise, e get that kind command wey soldier dey use for parade ground. The men wey dey cutlass waka stop small, dey look, before wahala start again.

Her voice small, but e cut me deep—"Brother, carry me now." My hand dey shake, but Papa grip no gree. My sister just sit down there, dey hold her coconut candy. That small, lonely figure na the last thing wey I remember about her. Her eyes big, full of fear and confusion, but she still dey clutch that sweet like say na her only hope remain for this world.

I still remember as she fall, she wound for leg. She just dey blow her bruised knee, come stretch hand for me to carry am. Her small voice dey quiver, but she no cry. The ground dey rough, stone don cut her skin, but all she want na make I hold her, make I no let am.

I cry, I shout, I try grab her hand, but na so I just dey watch as she dey far from me. My voice crack, my hand dey tremble, but fear and papa strong hand hold me back.