Chapter 3: Burials and Bitter Feasts

Before my papa surrender, Sade papa do big send-off party. Dem invite all chief and madam for area, plenty drinks flow, DJ dey play latest Naija jam. Small pikin dey run about, but my heart heavy. The send-off na like festival, but for my family, na funeral of dignity.

For front of everybody, he announce say he wan betroth me and Sade together as small pikin wey grow together. The crowd cheer, some people dey smile, dey shake head, say, “See how life sweet for Adeyemi house!”

My papa almost cry for happiness. Him eye dey shine like man wey win lottery. He grab me, dey thank Sade papa, dey promise say I go be better son-in-law.

But Sade start to cry. “I no wan marry am. Na just dog wey my family dey raise.” Her voice loud, people dey hush am, but the shame dey fly for air like mosquito. Sade just dey sob, dey wipe face, her mama dey try cover her mouth, but pikin wey vex no dey hear.

Her papa vex, shout for am, make she no dey talk nonsense. “Keep quiet there! Na honour I dey give you!” im voice thunder for parlour, and all the guests keep quiet, dey look.

Me, I no understand why after my sister die, everybody dey toast my papa. Dem dey hail am, dey pour drink for am, dey say he strong, say Adeyemi family now dey trust am pass all their boys. Some women dey whisper, dey tap my back, say, “You go soon chop life for this family.”

I no fit bear am, I run comot from that party, lock myself for toilet dey cry. The tears dey flow like rain for August. Toilet small, dark, only faint light from window. I cover mouth make dem no hear me, but the pain no gree hide.

I no know how long I cry, na so I hear Sade papa voice for outside. E voice low, e dey speak as if dem dey plan robbery. I pause, hold breath, dey listen.

He dey talk soft, “Baby, how I go allow you marry that poor boy? Your uncle try well well. All this na just show for people eye.” E dey try calm Sade, dey rub her back, but the words sharp like knife.

Sade dey sob, “How long we go dey pretend? Wetin if dem no gree?” She sound tired, like pikin wey dem force drink bitter medicine.

Her papa laugh, “America dey, na the best country. Once I get enough money, we go move go there. Even if dem no gree, e no go matter. By that time, you go don be American.” He talk am like say America na heaven wey dem dey enter with ordinary ticket.

I dey inside toilet, dey grind my teeth. Anger dey burn my chest, but fear just cage me. My hand dey shake, but I no fit talk anything.

My papa dey inside dey drink, dey dream big. He dey toast with all the men, dey shout, “Na my pikin go marry Adeyemi!” as if na him own plan dey run the world.

But he no know say for Adeyemi family eye, we just be dog. For their parlour, the laughter loud, but na only us know say na we dey suffer the most.

To show say e get good mind, Sade papa even give my sister big burial. Dem bring canopy, plenty rice, small chops, cow kill, music loud, all the elders for area show. But for our house, na silence, na tears, na hunger.

Dem serve rice and stew, with goat meat wey big men dey chop, but for our house, only garri and cold water remain. When my sister dey alive, na only festival she fit chop coconut candy. Sometimes, na me go hustle for street, buy am for am if I get spare change. But that burial day, dem pack coconut sweet for tray, dey share like say the world don end.

But when she die, na big men car and party full everywhere. Mercedes, Jeep, even one old Peugeot wey dem never drive since last election. The neighbours dey look, dey ask, “Who die?” but na only my mama fit answer am.

For the burial day, papa don dey community police post, na only me waka come from our family. He dey answer question for police, dey claim innocence. So na only my shadow waka with me enter that burial.

Mama no come—she dey busy dig my sister coffin. For night, she sneak enter backyard, use her own hand dey prepare the ground. Dem tell am say make she rest, but she no gree. All her body full of sand, her wrapper dirty, but she no care. Na only me and her dey for that small backyard, candle dey burn for ground, as if spirit dey watch us.

That day, she carry my sister body come out, dey cry tell me, how dem go do big burial for pikin wey die small? Adeyemi family just wan save face, make my pikin no rest well. Her voice hoarse, her eye swollen, but she no gree let anybody near that coffin.

I watch my sister body for mama hand. I try hold her hand, but e cold, e stiff. Even for death, her small finger still dey hold imaginary coconut candy, the bruise for her knee never fade.

I carry water, gently clean my sister face. The rag dey soft, but my hand dey shake. I dey hum that lullaby wey mama dey sing for us when NEPA take light. The tears just dey drop for her cheek as I wipe.

I dey cry, my heart dey pain me, but my mama wey dey always love me, hold my shoulder tight till her nails enter my skin. She dey squeeze me like person wey no wan lose another child. The pain make me forget my own sorrow, I just dey breathe in her anger.

She say, “No cry. Later you go smile, thank Adeyemi family. Promise me, you go live well and never forget today.” Her eye dey red, but her voice dey firm. She no want make I ever forget how we suffer, make I know say everything for this world dey cost.

I look my mama face, full of anger, come force my tears back. I bite my lip, my mind dey boil, but I gree with her—no be today I go break.

I promise, I go always remember today. I no talk am out loud, but for my heart, I know say this pain go follow me reach old age.

Mama kneel for ground, hold my sister body, suddenly bite my shoulder hard. Her teeth dig my skin, my blood dey flow, but I no shout. The bite strong, na like ritual wey no get name.

She bite me like say she wan chop am finish. For that moment, I feel say she dey pour all her sorrow inside my blood, make e no disappear for thin air.

But I no dodge, because as she bite me, e be like say three of us dey hug, dey protect my sister together. That pain join us, bind us, as if we dey swear secret for our own family.

Na when blood full my shoulder, mama release mouth. She dey pant, her eye don turn, but she no shed one tear again. My wrapper don soak, but her voice no shake. That was the last time my body feel her pain; after that day, na only memory dey bite me.

My gentle mama don turn to mad woman, tell me make I go greet guests, make I never forget today. “Go out, no shame, no let dem see you cry. One day, you go remember this pain and you go use am win.”

I force smile, waka go out. My leg dey heavy, but my mouth dey do like say all dey well. I greet elders, answer question, but for inside, my chest dey burn.