Chapter 3: Forgotten Daughters

One concubine wey dey west wing of Olanrewaju Palace tell me before say my mama na lamp-keeper maid for Harmony Hall.

Dem say Harmony Hall na where better people dey stay, but my mama own na keep lamp burning every night, so Queen go see road.

Queen no well, so Papa King just pick one palace maid from Harmony Hall make she serve am for one night.

I hear say Queen no wan near Papa King then, so na maid dem pick. Palace life no easy—sometimes, your fate fit change with just one night.

My mama, wey dem pick, nearly cry die. She just get one year before she go fit leave palace, and her fiancé dey work as guard for palace.

My mama dey pray every night, dey hope say her love go wait for am. But as dem summon her, na so all her hope just scatter.

Dem love each other well, no get wahala, plan say once she commot palace, dem go marry.

Dem dey gist like two pigeon every evening. My mama go smile, her eye go shine. Na better love dem get.

She beg Papa King make he leave her, but he vex more, force am, then just give her Quiet title and send her go cold, lonely Olanrewaju Palace.

From that day, no friend, no song—only silence and cold wind dey follow my mama. People for palace begin call her Amina the Quiet, like say na curse.

Even as my mama carry me for ten months, born me, he no ever come see us, not even once.

No visitor, no gift—only old wrapper and empty bowl.

He no even give me name.

I dey grow, dey wait say one day Papa King go call me, but day dey turn to years. Nobody send us.

Papa King still no remember which one be Amina the Quiet, or which one be Princess Sade.

The palace elders dey forget people like us. I learn say, for this life, nobody owe you anything.

He smile small, ask me gently,

Maybe him dey pity, maybe na just habit, but him voice calm. "Small Sade, wetin you want from Papa King?"

"I wan marry."

I no dey fear, my voice strong pass my size. I look up at am, smile too. "Sade don grow. I fit marry now."

Palace dey look me like say I don craze. But true true, courage dey make person talk bold.

The once dull king’s chamber come burst into laughter. Papa King help me stand, rub my head, as if na me be him favourite pikin.

He smile, his eyes small like say he dey remember something funny for olden days. "Who Sade wan marry? Make Papa King help you find husband?"

The old steward join mouth, dey laugh.

Everybody dey shake head. Even one elder wey dey chop kolanut nearly drop am for floor.

"I hear say Princess Sade dey close to Chief Tutor Musa."

Dem don dey talk this thing since. Palace gossip no dey finish. Small kindness, dem don turn am to love story.

Papa King raise eyebrow. "Small Sade like Chief Tutor Musa?"

I see as everybody dey look Musa. Palace people sabi gossip, if dem see two people smile, dem go say wedding dey come.

Musa face for crowd change. He press him lips, eye dey burn, dey look me, fear catch am well.

I fit feel the tension for air. Musa no like wahala, but today, wahala don find am.

Maybe him dey fear say I go talk say na him I wan marry.

I always know say Musa no like me.

He dey treat me like small pikin wey no get home training. Sometimes I go greet am, he go just nod, waka go him side.

He be good person, and we sabi each other because he help me before.

Na so palace life be—who show you small mercy, you go remember am reach your old age.

One harmattan, he see small palace boys dey force me crawl like goat just to get firewood.

That day cold fit cut person skin, but Musa stop, look the boys with strong face. Everybody scatter.

He help me teach those boys lesson, even leave all the money wey dey with am.

He give me two cowries, say make I buy puff-puff. I thank am, my heart dey sweet me.

Truth be say, I know am before.

I sabi say na big man for palace. If I see am for corridor, I go hide small, dey peep.

He na Crown Prince’s teacher, dey always come palace teach Crown Prince and Third Princess.

Sometimes, I go waka pass study hall, dey hear as him dey read poem, dey correct Crown Prince if he miss line.

Because everybody for palace dey call me Mumu Sade, I no gree, I wan get sense.

For my mind, if I sabi book, nobody go fit call me mumu again.

One blind old woman wey dey wash cloth tell me say if I fit read, I go get sense, so I dey crawl pass small hole, go sit for wall near study room, dey hear Musa dey teach Crown Prince and Third Princess.

My leg go dey pain me, but I go still stay, dey hope say something go enter my head.

He dey teach well, but my head no dey carry. After all the lesson, na only one line I remember: "Life be big dream; how many rainy seasons don pass?"

I dey look this line, sometimes e dey confuse me, sometimes e dey make me smile.

I no wan forget am, so I write am inside my warmest wrapper, dey bring am out to look anytime.

That wrapper, e be like my secret. If cold too much, I hug am, remember say hope still dey somewhere.

I think say one day I go ask Musa wetin this poem mean.

But every time I see am, I go just dey shy, dey hide.

But not long after, Musa, wey dey always bring me things, suddenly start to dey vex for me.

My mind no rest, I dey wonder wetin I do. Palace talk spread quick, but me, I no dey quick hear all the story.

Na for one palace feast. Some small boys jam me for palace garden, think say I be mumu palace maid.

Them dey do their own, dey play rough, but nobody dey look my side before Musa show.

Dem hold plate of meat pies, dey force me recite some dirty song. One even ask if I wan be him woman for house, say if I follow am, I go chop and wear better.

The song dem dey talk sef, e get as e be, but my mind dey for food wey dey smell for plate.

I no sabi wetin "household woman" mean. Dem dey laugh, but me, I just dey count how many meat pies dey plate.

For my small head, I just dey reason food, I no understand all those grown people talk.

But to chop and wear better na my biggest dream for over ten years, so I look am with big eyes, dey ask when he go carry me go.

People for palace dey laugh, some dey shake head, dem no know say na survival dey push me.

Na so Musa see am, carry me waka, grip my hand tight like he wan break am.

Him face change, eye red, hand strong. I never see am vex like that before.

I try struggle, he fling me, shout for me.

"You be princess of Olanrewaju Kingdom. How you go disgrace yourself like this, dey follow any man, dey eager to enter their bed?"

His voice loud, everybody hear. My heart nearly jump comot my chest.

"Princess of Olanrewaju Kingdom suppose dey like Third Princess—proud, no dey carry last, no dey less than man."

That one pain me pass. All the things I dey try do, e no dey enough for dem.

I shock for the insult, my face full of tears, no know wetin to do.

My body dey shake, my mouth open but no word fit come out. I dey look everybody, I just wan disappear.

I no know why Musa dey vex.

For my mind, na just play. Na food I dey find, no be wahala. Why everybody dey carry matter for head?

Na so my mama raise me, and after she die, na so I survive.

Survival be the number one thing. For palace, if you no sharp, hunger go teach you lesson.

For me, nothing dey wrong inside.

Especially as war start, our life come worse, we dey do more things wey no good.

If person dey hungry, all those palace rules go dey like film trick. You go do anything to survive.

Queen talk say make harem dey manage, but na always us wey no get favour dem dey cut food from.

I remember when we dey line up for food, by the time e reach our side, only small soup remain for bottom of pot.

After dem don cut am reach our side, nothing dey remain.

Even water sef, we dey manage am. Na so palace hard reach.

If any favourite wife need firewood or anything, na us dey suffer am.

I dey waka up and down, dey carry firewood till my hand get blisters. Nobody dey ask if you tire.

Forget say na just dirty song—if na to recite am fit give me soup or firewood, I go recite am one thousand times a day.

Palace no dey care for you if you dey talk plenty. But if you fit dance, sing, or do anyhow, sometimes, you fit get small thing.

But that day, Musa reaction show me say maybe e no good.

Na that day I begin dey reason, say maybe my way no pure as I think.

I no know wetin to talk, just dey wipe my tears.

I cry tire, but I wipe my face, stand, waka go my mama room, go hug wrapper.

As he see say I no talk, he waka commot, vex, never bring me anything again.

The next day, I dey wait for him, but he no show. My belle dey pain me, but I learn say na so life be.

So I continue to live my life as before, dey hide for cold, lonely Olanrewaju Palace, dey careful.

Some days, I go just sit for corner, dey count how many cracks dey wall, dey pray make new day better pass today.

Everyday, small palace boys and maids dey use me play, but if I see one small puff-puff inside goat food bowl, I fit happy for days.

Happiness na small thing for palace, but if e show, I dey hold am tight.