Chapter 6: Shadows on the Wall

Three hours pass.

The night long, generator hum dey my ear. My back dey pain, finger red from grinding stone. I open door, the corridor dark, only small lamp for wall.

As I come my room, body dey pain me, I see Tunde naked for my bed.

He dey lie like big man wey no get problem. My heart jump. For two years, we never even touch body. The air heavy with his perfume and aftershave.

We never sleep together for two years.

People for outside no go believe, but na the truth. Na only God know wetin I dey suffer for inside.

Tunde get bedroom wahala, need strong thing to work. Since that thing wey happen two years ago, he never touch me.

The matter na secret wey I dey hide for my chest. For Naija, woman no dey talk husband weakness. E go bring shame, so I dey act like say nothing dey happen.

Now,

His chest dey go up and down. He look me, dey pant, eye half close.

Sweat dey his forehead, his hand dey shake small. E be like say e dey fight something for inside.

His shadow long for wall, like spirit wey no wan leave.

"Come here."

His voice rough. I drop wrapper for chair, walk small small, my heart dey pound. I dey try read his face.

I bite lip, waka go.

My feet cold, but I dey obey. For this house, na obedience dey keep you safe.

"I no fit do acupuncture today—my hand dey shake."

I show am my trembling hand.

The needle small, but my hand no steady. I dey fear make I no wound am.

If I get any use for am, na my acupuncture.

Na only this my skill dey keep me relevant for house. Even Baba Adegbite dey respect am. I dey pray say one day e go save me.

All this his wahala, sometimes e dey too high, sometimes e just dead. Only acupuncture dey help am manage.

Na family secret. If no be Grandpapa, Tunde for no even dey stand for public.

My grandpapa na herbal medicine master, so I sabi pass outsiders.

The respect for my hand dey come from that one place. For every other thing, na groundnut oil dem dey use rub my pride.

Tunde face hard.

He squeeze face like person wey dey swallow bitterleaf. I just dey watch am, dey wait for instruction.

E clear say e dey get episode.

When this thing hold am, na only pain dey his face. Nobody fit help am except me.

Lie down, dey suffer.

He roll small, dey groan, sweat dey flow. The air thick with tension. I dey try steady my hand.

Na the first type.

My mind dey count the stages. If e pass second stage, na hospital straight.

"Na today this thing go start wahala."

He curse, eye red, voice rough:

His mouth dey shake, e dey almost cry but pride no go let am.

"Do am."

His voice hard, no space for argument. I take deep breath, wipe sweat for my face.

I stand, dey think, talk: "Doctor say my brother hospital bill need renew."

My words soft, but my hand dey tremble. I dey fear make e no vex.

His voice cold quick.

He glare me, voice cut like blade. "Na now you wan talk this one?"

I talk soft, "I never get chance tell you today, but doctor say if dem no renew today, tomorrow no medicine. You know say my brother no fit miss am."

I dey plead, my heart dey my mouth. I dey hope say e go pity me this once.

Tunde look me for some seconds, then hiss, pick phone, call quick.

He no talk plenty, just press phone like soldier. Money dey power for this family.

"Send 300,000 to hospital."

The words fly out, he no look my face. I whisper 'Thank you', but he no answer.

He throw phone, look me:

His eye sharp, voice cold. I dey fear, but I no show am.

"Remove your cloth, climb by yourself."

My hand dey shake, but I obey. I for like run, but where I wan go?

I breathe small.

I whisper 'God help me', then start to remove my blouse. My eye dey the wall, I dey avoid his gaze.

With shaking hand, I start to undress.

My bra hook dey fight me, my leg dey weak. The shame dey press my chest.

His eye red pass, chest dey move fast.

He dey struggle. I dey pity am, but I dey pity myself pass.

"Ugh—"

His groan cut the air. I try steady hand, but body no gree.

I bend, begin vomit.

My stomach twist, I rush cover mouth but vomit still pour for bed. The smell hit me, my pride scatter. I dey shame.

I vomit for bed, some touch his leg.

He jump, curse, wipe leg for bedsheet. For Naija man, na big insult.

Tunde na clean freak. He curse, run enter bathroom.

The door slam, water start run. I dey shiver, tears dey my face. I clean vomit, the shame heavy for my heart.

As he come out, face strong.

His face blank, no show any emotion. He tie towel, just dey look me.

I talk soft, "Sorry, maybe na wetin I chop today. I go clean am now."

I bend, dey pack sheet. My voice dey shake, but I try compose.

He no answer, just pick phone, dial.

He dey walk out, phone for ear. E pain me say my own husband dey run from me like devil from holy water.

"I dey come tonight. Wait for me."

He talk for phone, no look me. The perfume of another woman for his shirt dey disturb me. I dey wonder who he dey call, but I no ask.

He begin wear the pyjamas wey he throw.

His movement quick, no care say I dey room. I just dey stand, dey clean tears for eye.

He bone me, like say breeze just blow pass.

Me sef no talk.

The silence loud pass generator noise. I dey arrange bed, he dey find wallet. Two strangers for the same room.

For the heavy silence, Tunde finish dress, dey go. For door, he turn, face cold, voice get as e be.

He hiss, then turn say, "Morayo, I wan see how long you fit dey do this your drama."

The words cut me like blade. I drop head, swallow pain, dey thank God say darkness dey hide my tears.