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The Day I Dumped UNILAG's Golden Boy / Chapter 3: The Hostel and the Hard Girl
The Day I Dumped UNILAG's Golden Boy

The Day I Dumped UNILAG's Golden Boy

Author: Theresa Ponce


Chapter 3: The Hostel and the Hard Girl

Of course, me and Kunle no really go open room.

Na cruise we dey. I no fit follow blood do that kind thing. Kunle dey laugh for car: "Na fake life be this."

But as the dare talk, we photoshop hotel check-in screenshot, send am enter group, then waka go hostel jejely.

Kunle sabi all this app work. Five minutes, e don do check-in screenshot, I send am for group chat. Everybody shout, but nobody fit prove say na fake.

As I enter hostel—

The corridor still smell of indomie and relaxer, girls dey spread wrapper for corridor, gist dey fly like mosquito. As I waka enter, dem dey look me, some dey gossip for corner.

My roommate see me, eye wide: "Wetin happen, Morayo? Why your makeup don scatter like this?"

She drop phone, jump up. Eye open like plate. Worry full her face.

I shock small, remember say I don cry.

As I touch my face, my hand come out black—makeup everywhere. I no even know before.

I grow up like boy, no sabi dress up.

Na my brother teach me ball, not how to tie gele or use foundation. Even lipstick, na YouTube I dey learn.

Just to give Tunde respect tonight, I wear full makeup, let my fashion roommate pick cloth.

She arrange eyelash, put glitter, talk: "Morayo, tonight, you go pepper dem."

Before party, I look mirror, shock say I fit fine like this.

Even me dey admire myself. Snap selfie. Roommate say make I do TikTok, but shyness catch me.

But now—

Everything don wash, face don return to factory setting. Lipstick spread reach ear, mascara run like Benin rain. Eye red, face swell.

Makeup don wash commot because of cry.

And I don break up with Tunde.

As I talk am, my chest just heavy. I no fit cry again. Mind blank.

I talk low: "Nothing, just break up."

Voice crack, but I no gree look her face.

Roommate see mood no dey, no talk much: "No matter the reason, you too much. If na him break up, na him lose."

She touch my shoulder, dey console: "No worry, you go find better person wey go treat you like queen."

"Sha, Morayo, you dey hungry? Make I bring you ewa agoyin and bread, you go feel better small."

Na true friend be that. Even as wahala choke, she still dey check my belle.

I nod, thank am.

I no fit talk much, but her small kindness sweet me.

After she waka, I begin delete all the adult toys wey I order last night.

The orders dey my phone, I dey clear one by one. I even dey reason whether to delete WhatsApp chat with Tunde join.

Na my first time last night. As I taste am, I dey plan try plenty things with Tunde.

My mind run wild. All those plans don scatter.

I even ask am for WhatsApp: "Which one you wan try with me? Bunny tail, handcuff, body chain—just pick."

E ear red, cool voice husky: "No rush. If you like am, we go try all one by one."

The way e answer, e dey make me laugh that time. Now, e just pain me.

Now, I no need try again.

I delete everything, even Jumia wish list.

Unknown number call me.

I cut, but e call again.

My heart dey race. For Naija, if unknown number dey disturb after heartbreak, e fit be wahala.

I answer, hear worried voice: "Morayo, where you dey?"

Na Tunde.

E voice weak, like person wey never sleep. For small second, I almost cry again.

I wipe tears, talk cold: "You no see the hotel check-in I post for group?"

I try form hard babe, but my voice dey shake.

Tunde dey pant like person wey run: "Morayo, abeg no do anything rash, I dey come meet you."

E breathing loud, I fit imagine am dey run stairs.

I hiss: "You dey come do wetin? Bring condom for me?"

For this Lagos, heartbreak na sport. If e wan play, make e play reach final.

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