Chapter 1: Stranger Than My Regulars

While I dey massage customer, e just start dey yarn me about one old criminal case wey happen years back.

I notice as him voice dey shake at first, but I just dey press him shoulder, dey reason say na one of those gist lovers. The story get as e be—full of wahala and violence—but as e dey talk, suddenly, the man begin cry.

My hand stop small—abeg, which man dey cry for another person hand? Na rare thing for this Lagos. I sharply give am tissue, ask am, curious, “This one na old case wey dem don close since. Why e still dey pain you like this?”

E look me with tired eyes, hand dey shake, tears dey wash him face. E tell me say the case no be as people take talk am—e never really end, no matter wetin anybody believe.

And now, according to am, e suppose finally end.

......

I never see customer as strange as Uncle Bala before...

Sometimes, when people dey talk about regular clients, dem dey expect gist of wahala, but Uncle Bala different.

My name be Morayo. I dey 38 years old this year, and na mobile massage therapist I be.

I don know Uncle Bala for almost three months now; na my regular customer be that.

He be retired university lecturer. When he dey talk, whether na gist or serious matter, he dey always sound like all those old school science films from the seventies and eighties: strict, principled, and very detailed. I just dey call am Uncle Bala, e even make us dey close.

Sometimes, when he dey explain ordinary thing, he fit quote dictionary or throw in some big grammar like 'interdisciplinary approach', but me, I just dey laugh for inside mind.

He dey book me for home massage at least two or three times every week. He talk say na old waist injury from when he dey young dey worry am, say na only massage dey help am feel better.

But I don dey do this work for six or seven years now, I don see plenty people wey get this kind waist wahala.

Some go even dey do like say dem go die if you touch the wrong spot. For people like that, once you dey massage, you go quickly see where the pain dey, and I go try avoid that side so dem no go feel pain.

But Uncle Bala different. No matter how I knead or press, e no dey ever shout or even show any sign of pain.

Sometimes I press him back sotey I dey pity my own hand, still nothing! The man strong like stone, no be small.

So why e dey pretend say e get injury?

Sometimes, I dey look the man face, dey find sign of lie, but e just dey smile like nothing dey happen. Na wah.

Even though I dey wonder, everybody get their own wahala, so I no too reason am.

In this Lagos, if you dey reason everybody problem, na there headache go kill you.

Uncle Bala talk say e no like to share services with other customers because e dey like everywhere neat, so anytime e book me, I must turn down every other client for that day.

At first, I vex small. Massage no dey take pass one hour, so why I go lose whole day because of one person?

But Uncle Bala dey generous. Just one of his massage pay fit pass wetin I go make from three or five days of other customers.

If you see the way the man dey pay, you go know say e no dey look change. Sometimes e go add extra, say make I buy malt for road.

For money sake, I no get wahala.

But this one just make me more curious.

People for our line sabi as e dey go.

Clients wey dey use massage as excuse to touch touch or ask for extra things no dey rare at all.

At first, I think say Uncle Bala na one of those men wey dey use massage take do anyhow.

No be say I holy pass. If the money good, I fit do.

But the man never ask for anything wey no pure. Just normal massage and small gist, nothing else. Even when I hint am say e fit try other things, the man no even look my side.

So wetin Uncle Bala dey find? Na that one I never understand till today.

Sometimes, after session, when I dey waka go, I go look back, dey wonder whether na jazz he dey find or if e dey use me do spiritual thing.

I just tell myself say: rich people get their own wahala.

This morning, Uncle Bala call me again make I come.