Chapter 3: Inspection and Disappearance

I finally enter our small shared flat.

I dey expect say everybody go sleep. But as I push door, darkness just fill everywhere, except for TV wey dey blink like candle.

No light inside. Na only TV dey shine small light.

That TV dey show old Nollywood film, but nobody dey laugh. The light just dey reflect for everybody face.

Three people dey sit for sofa, all dey look TV, nobody move. TV volume dey lowest, like say na silent movie.

I dey wait make somebody talk, but everybody just freeze, their eyes dey red. For my mind, I dey pray say e no be ghost dey house.

The way the light dey blink for their face, e dey make dem look strange.

Even Zainab, wey dey always wear smile, her face just strong like stone. Ifeanyi dey press her knees together, Halima dey look TV like person wey dey see vision.

As I enter, all of them turn look me at once.

The movement sharp. My skin just prick. For Yoruba movie, na so dem dey act before evil spirit show face.

Zainab, Ifeanyi, Halima.

Everybody dey present. I dey count dem, dey check if na the same faces I know. I greet dem with eye.

Bathroom door behind me open, Tunde come out too.

I no even hear im enter bathroom before. Now as he come out, he dey scratch neck, like say e dey nervous.

"I knock just now, why una no open for me?" I ask.

My voice low, but I make sure say everybody hear am. I dey wait for answer.

"As we come back, all of us get message." Zainab talk first.

Her voice dey steady, but I fit sense small fear. For Zainab to serious like this, matter don pass play.

Ifeanyi curl for Halima’s hand, she dey fear, dey sob: "Wuwuwu, I no fit open door."

She dey cry, her body dey shake. Ifeanyi strong for mouth, but when e reach this kind wahala, she dey melt quick.

Halima look me, purse her lips: "I think say na prank. But e be like say e real."

Halima dey form hard girl, but even her voice dey tremble. This one pass April Fool o.

As if to prove am, I get new message:

[Estate management go come do house inspection. Abeg cooperate.]

[Estate staff go wear blue uniform and carry notebook.]

[No open door for anybody except estate staff.]

The message loud and clear. My mind dey calculate wetin I go do if estate staff really show face.

"The three of us reach house one by one around ten. As we enter, we get this message." Zainab continue.

She dey explain, her hand dey gesticulate. Normally, Zainab like to gist, but today, she just dey count facts.

"So una no open door for me just because message talk say no open for anybody?" I vex small. "But we be roommates now!"

My voice crack small, I try control am. I dey para, but I no wan shout too much because of the noise rule.

Even though na shared flat, we dey relate well, dey cook, dey gist.

For my mind, I dey remember all those times wey we gather dey chop yam porridge, dey laugh anyhow for parlour.

Just because of one strange message, una no open door?

E pain me, but I no fit vex pass like this. Wetin I for do if na me?

I wan talk more, but I fear say if I shout, e go count as noise, so I just calm down.

I swallow my words, sit for armrest. Na so Lagos dey teach person patience.

"Ayo." Tunde call me, voice dey shake small. "We suppose be four wey dey rent here..."

The way im voice break, e be like say im dey announce bad news. My heart skip small.

Na so e hit me like thunder.

I look up, dey blink eyes like person wey no wan believe wetin e just hear.

I count the people for the room again and again. No mistake, na five people.

I dey count faces again. E no add up. My mind dey turn round like danfo for hold-up. I dey check faces, dey count for my mind. One, two, three, four, five. My hand even dey count for air.

We dey rent three-bedroom for four people.

Everybody sabi am. Na so we dey pay rent every month. Wetin come dey happen?

One person dey extra.

I dey try recall if anybody bring friend come, but no memory.

Who be the person?

I dey look everybody, dey hope say face go change to mask or something, but na the same faces I know.

"Na so e be. All of us believe say we be tenants, but we also know say na only four tenants suppose dey." Halima fold hand.

Her hand dey her chest, she dey look everybody. The room just cold. For my mind, I dey pray make person no faint.

"Abeg, no dey joke." My head just dey run. "Person bring friend come sleep over..."

I dey force laugh join, but nobody smile. My voice just die for my throat.

"No." Everybody answer together.

The answer loud and in unison. Fear dey my face now. I swallow spit.

True true, for my mind, na five of us be tenants. But nobody sabi who the extra person be, everybody just believe say na four dey live together.

The confusion dey heavy for air. Na like say we all dey share the same wahala for head.

Strangely, I fit call everybody name, but I no know which room each person dey stay.

I dey try remember, but my memory just dey twist. I no fit place anybody for their room, as if my brain dey fog.

Tunde tell me say as he come back, he see say all three bedroom doors get label. Master bedroom with bathroom write "Dad & Mom", south room write "Younger Sister", north room write "Older Sister", then sofa for parlour write "Older Brother".

Na so the house just transform overnight. Even the labels dey look like dem use old chalk write am.

[You be the father. No matter if you be man or woman, young or old, you be the father.]

[You get wife and three children: elder brother, elder sister, younger sister. You dey Flat 502.]

"Follow the real rules. Play your role well."

I repeat the line for my head. For Naija, role wey dem assign you, if you no play am well, e fit land you for trouble.

I understand.

The matter don clear small for my mind. I get to play father, no be by age or gender.

I look the rest: "When time nearly reach eleven, una get message about identity? We need live according to that role."

I try sound as papa as I fit, my voice deep, I even straighten back like old men for village.

I be the father, Ifeanyi be the mother, Tunde na elder brother, Zainab be elder sister, Halima na younger sister.

For my head, I dey try picture how we go act like family now, when confusion full everywhere.

Buzz buzz—

New message alert:

[Estate inspection don start. Only the parent fit talk to estate staff.]

The warning clear. For this estate, any small thing dem go want collect bribe. But now, e get another meaning.

At the same time, doorbell ring.

The sound nearly make my heart stop. Everybody just freeze. I look Ifeanyi, she dey shake like person wey cold dey catch.

Two people stand for door, wear blue uniform and dey hold notebook: "Hello, estate, home inspection."

Dem stand straight, no smile, just dey do official face. Their blue uniform neat well, but their face no too show expression. The badge for their chest read “Estate Management” but the way dem dey bone face, na like LASTMA on a bad day.

Ifeanyi dey shake, no fit near the door.

Her hand dey cover her mouth, tears dey her eye. I pity am, but I no fit leave my own papa role.

I gather myself, open the door: "Good evening."

I force smile, even do small head nod as greeting. I dey try show say I dey cooperate.

"502, abi?" Estate staff look inside. "Which role you dey play?"

Dem voice dey sharp, no space for play. Their eyes just dey scan the room, dey count everybody.

"I be the father."

I talk am with confidence. For my mind, I dey wish say dem go just tick box and go.

"How many people for the family?"

This one choke me.

I look their eyes, dey try read their mind. I dey reason whether to say four or five. My hand dey sweat.

Should I say four, or five?

My mouth open, close. I look back, hope say somebody go help me. But na only confusion dey look me back.

Estate staff look me well. Na that time I notice say their eyes totally black, no white at all.

Cold catch me, I look back at the others.

Fear grip my heart. If na village, I go say these people don chop juju.

Tunde flash five fingers, Zainab flash four, Ifeanyi curl up, Halima dey comfort her.

Everybody dey send code with their hands. Na only me dey inside hot seat.

I remember the message: [No trust the elder brother.]

I try do quick calculation. If I trust Tunde, I talk five. If I no trust am, I talk four. My mind dey spin.

So... say four?

I dey sweat, my shirt don soak. I clear throat.

But according to the roles, our family na five.

I dey try balance between logic and fear. Na only God fit judge.

"You dey look space? Then make the mother answer." Estate staff no get patience.

Their tone no dey friendly. Ifeanyi just dey shake, her teeth dey clatter.

Ifeanyi dey shake, stammer: "F-four..."

Her voice low, but e manage come out. My heart just dey cut.

"Okay, so why una be five for this flat?"

Their question heavy like stone. I no even get breath to answer.

My heart jump.

I dey reason all the possible answers wey fit save us. But nothing dey come.

Next thing, Ifeanyi shout, her eyes roll, she faint.

She just collapse for chair. Halima scream small, but she cover mouth quick. Tunde rush stand, but estate staff just move like say dem dey do normal duty.

Estate staff just drag Ifeanyi from Halima: "Now, your family number match."

Dem no get pity for eye. Dem drag am gently, but I know say e no be ordinary fainting.

As dem wan carry Ifeanyi go, I shout: "Wait!"

I no know where I get courage. My voice loud, echo for parlour. For my mind, I dey pray say dem go answer me.

Estate staff stop, no look back: "We just dey make numbers match. Who you wan send away, na una sabi."

Their voice dey cold, e no get remorse. Na like say dem dey talk to log of wood.

The other staff come talk soft: "We go come inspect again this same time tomorrow. If una decide, una fit swap person with us then."

The way e talk am, e be like person wey dey sell market. My mind dey reason say tomorrow go reach?

Dem carry Ifeanyi go. Door close with gbam, everywhere quiet.

The silence heavy. Nobody talk, everybody just dey look ground.

After long time, Halima talk: "Who really be the extra person?"

Her voice sound small, like breeze. Everybody just dey wonder, nobody get answer.

Na phone vibration answer us.

Buzz buzz—Buzz buzz—Buzz buzz—

The vibration loud. For Naija, na only alert from bank fit shock person like this.

All our phones dey vibrate.

Everybody just dey look phone, dey pray say the message go give answer.

My own message say:

[Abeg return to your own room before one o’clock for morning. As you enter, no on light. You fit read small before you sleep.]

The last line get that strikethrough wey make e look suspicious. I dey wonder who cross am.

"You fit read small before you sleep" get line cross am.

The thing dey worry me, like say na code or warning.

[Father must wake up by seven for morning, leave for work by eight, come back by six for evening.]

I dey read the rules, dey try memorize all. Lagos no dey play, but this one pass traffic wahala.