Chapter 5: Names and Walls

Because of the wine, I sweated through the night. I got up and opened the window.

The night air was cool, the moonlight spilling across the old linoleum floor. Somewhere, a freight train blew its horn, the sound lonely and far-off. I let the breeze brush the damp hair from my forehead, hoping it would clear my head, too.

The cold wind on my face sobered me up a bit, and I suddenly remembered that Caleb wasn’t always so warm to me.

When we first got married, he always called me Miss Harper. Never overstepping the line.

Once, my mom, who came to visit, heard this and complained about how I made our marriage so distant. Even if he couldn’t call me honey or Natalie, he should at least call me wife.

Miss Harper. Not Natalie, not honey. Just two words that built a wall between us every time he said them.

I brushed off my mom’s words and never mentioned it to Caleb. I thought that every time he called me Miss Harper, it was a reminder to both of us that we were only a pretend couple with three rules: no crossing the line, no falling in love.

Later… one day, he suddenly called me Natalie. And has called me that ever since.

Names are the most magical things in this world, as if dissolving the clear boundaries between us, turning us into a real married couple.

Caleb.

I savored those two syllables and took a deep breath. The first time I heard Grace’s name from his mouth, I knew—

There was no way for us.