Chapter 2: Death Queue for Milk Tea Shop

After I reason am small, I focus on the milk tea shop for first floor.

I dey think say, make I just run quick collect my receipt. Na small thing, I go japa from here. I dey forget say wahala no dey show for face.

Since time dey run, milk tea wey dem dey serve fast go make sense pass.

Time dey tick, my hand dey sweat. I dey check my wristwatch like say the thing fit slow down death. Everybody dey hustle enter the shop.

E be like say other people think am too, crowd just rush the shop.

People dey push, even one small girl fall, her mama drag am up. We dey squeeze like night bus for Ojuelegba. If you see queue, e long reach Shoprite entrance.

By the time I join line, more than twelve people don already dey front.

I dey count people for my front, dey hope say the queue go move fast. My legs dey pain me. I dey wish say I reach front sharp, but fear dey my chest.

The shop girl just dey smile like robot, she bring out menu, drop am for the first person.

She tie scarf tight, face smooth like Lagos granite, eyes no dey blink. Her smile no reach her eyes. E be like say dem program her for inside computer. The way she waka, you go think say she no dey feel any wahala for here.

"Which drink you go like buy?" she ask.

Her voice soft, but na that kind soft wey dey make person fear. Like say she sabi wetin you no sabi. Everybody dey look menu, eyes dey move up and down.

The person hesitate, no sure what to choose, but finally order the normal one: pearl milk tea.

He look left, look right, then just talk. Na the same drink wey dey big for the poster. My mind dey tell me say make I no try that one.

As I expect, dem serve am quick quick.

The girl waka go back, bring am out like magician. Everybody dey quiet. Na only the drink dey shine for her hand.

As the guy just talk finish, the girl carry one cup of milk tea from back, put straw, hand am over.

We all dey look am, dey reason say the guy go jolly now. But wahala dey wait.

The guy look the drink, take small sip, nothing do am. He come ask, "I fit get my receipt now?"

He smile, like say relief dey him face. Everybody dey hope say e go finish quick, collect receipt and waka.

As he talk finish, the girl clap hand, bend down under counter.

She bend down so sudden, everybody dey wonder wetin she wan bring come out. I dey pray say no be gun.

"I almost forget, I only give you milk tea—never give you the pearls."

She raise iron tongs, hold one red-hot iron ball wey dey shine with heat.

The heat blast reach my face, I shift back. The iron ball red like those wey blacksmith dey use for village. My stomach turn.

Hot air just blow reach us.

I smell burning, like say person dey roast corn. The crowd move back small. The shop girl face no change, still dey smile.

The guy shock. "Wetin you mean—"

The guy wan talk, but the girl don already move. People dey hold their chest, dey step back.

The girl just smile, sharply open him mouth, jam the iron ball inside.

Na so she shove am in, hot iron enter him throat. The scream wey I expect no come. Him body just dey twist, hand dey grab for air. Everybody open mouth.

Before we fit even react, the guy collapse for ground, body dey shake, dey struggle.

We just dey look, nobody fit move. Some people close eye, others dey cry. The smell of burnt flesh full everywhere.

But as the thing burn him throat, not even shout fit come out.

Na only the sound of him body hitting ground remain. The quiet, heavy, like say the air dey cry too.

Just like that, the first customer don kpai.

I see as one girl grab her boyfriend, dey shiver. I dey pray make my turn no reach. Death dey parade for here like police checkpoint.

Everybody open eye, no believe wetin we see.

Na shock tie everybody mouth. Na only one small boy for back begin whisper Psalm 91 for himself. The rest of us just dey reason our life.

So na this kind "pearls" dey inside their pearl milk tea?

I look the menu again. I dey try find clue, but nothing. For my mind, I dey wish say na game show wey person fit quit anytime.

Fear just hold me, I move back small.

As I try step back, na so one guy for my side remind me, "Omo, you move from queue, dem fit kpai you o!" I freeze. My leg heavy.

But as I remember the rule say anybody wey leave line go die, I no fit run.

Na so I lock my leg, dey pray. I dey sweat for inside AC, like say sun dey shine only for me.

E be like say na death queue I join so.

My heart dey drum like bata for chest. I dey wonder why God just leave me for this wahala.

After the first person kpai, the girl no even give us time to reason. She just wave the next customer—a bald man—make he come.

Her hand move quick, she just dey focus. No pity for her face. This one pass Nollywood witch.

"Order," she talk.

Her voice dry, like say she don tire, but e still sharp. Everybody dey look the bald man.

The man swallow spit, hand dey shake, before he finally talk:

He dey sweat, lips dey tremble. I feel for am. He manage gather mouth.

"I... iced fresh lemon water."

The girl tilt head, smile. "Good choice. Na our best seller."

As she talk am, everybody dey hope say this one safe. The man relax small. Me sef wan believe.

The man relax small. E be like say he choose well.

He rub forehead, begin dey look hopeful. Some people nod for back, like say dem dey take note.

But as he see wetin she bring out, na shock hold am.

Her hand sharp, she pull something from under counter. E shine like silver.

Sharp ice knife appear for the girl hand.

The ice knife long, cold, the kind wey dey use cut big block for Agege market. The man begin stammer, but na too late.

Before he fit do anything, she stab am for chest.

The knife enter, blood splash. The man drop like sack of garri. I nearly vomit. The floor dey red.

Sharp sharp, only small whimper remain for the shop front.

He no even fit shout. The rest of us dey look each other. Some dey pray. The air thick with fear.

The girl still dey smile like nothing happen.

Her white teeth dey shine, eyes empty. She arrange cups like say nothing spoil. Chai, na real witch this girl be.

"Next."

She call, and person no fit say no. My leg almost go weak.

The time wey follow na pure torture.

One woman wey dey back begin vomit for ground. People dey whisper prayer, some dey rub anointing oil for head. I dey bite my finger, dey count who remain.

Everybody begin regret why dem rush enter the milk tea shop.

If person fit rewind time, nobody for rush enter here. Some dey cry, some dey beg God. "Why I nor go buy suya for Okoli place?" one man dey talk.

This one no be to buy drink at all—na new way to die.

The shop don turn to slaughterhouse. The girl just dey serve death with smile. The way people dey kpai, you go think say na war zone.

No matter the drink you order, the girl go use am as excuse to finish you.

She dey switch weapon like say na joke. If you like order water, she go find way kill you. Nobody understand the pattern.

And as rule talk, you no fit fight or run.

One man try push her, sharp sharp, him chest burst open. Blood full everywhere. As rule dey, nobody fit even struggle.

Na just to stand dey wait make she do you.

I dey grip my shirt. Sweat dey roll my back. The queue no dey move, just dey reduce, as people dey die one by one.

We jam real wahala.

Na so I dey remember all the wahala wey Nigeria dey give person—nepa, bad road, now this kind mall.

Even though the rules talk say every shop get risk and chance—meaning say one correct answer dey for menu—

I dey try reason the code. How person go sabi which one safe? Some people dey try spy the menu, others dey whisper for back.

The menu full, full. If na only one correct answer, how many people go die before person go find am?

Menu long like NECO question paper. Na so confusion jam fear. Nobody get hint. Only God fit help.

As I think am, cold sweat just dey my body.

My shirt dey soak. My armpit dey wet, even my palm dey sweat. My body dey vibrate.

Na until the seventh person waka come front, things change small.

The queue dey reduce, people dey die, but na this small girl bring hope. She waka slow, dey shake.

The girl still dey smile like robot.

Her smile still no change. She arrange her headscarf, menu for hand.

"Order one."

This time, her voice short, sharp. Everybody dey tense.

The small girl wey dey shake, maybe fear too much, just mistakenly talk "pearl milk tea."

She stammer, her voice low. She wan cry, her mama dey pray for back.

As she realize, her face turn white, she cover mouth.

Everybody shock. Some people look away. I fit hear her teeth dey knock.

Everybody know say the pearl milk tea here na death.

Na so tension grip the whole queue. Even the girl wey dey sell pause small.

All of us dey wait for the hot iron ball to show again. But this time, the girl just hand over normal cup of pearl milk tea,

She hand am over gently, like say nothing dey happen. The cup even get small umbrella for top.

Still give the girl receipt.

She pass receipt, her hand soft. The small girl dey cry, but na joy tears.

"Congrats, you don buy finish."

Her voice gentle, as if she dey pet small pikin. The small girl mama jump, hug am tight, dey thank God.

The girl survive, everybody shock.

For inside fear, small hope light. Some people dey smile, others dey reason if e fit work for them too.

Wetin dey happen?

Person for back whisper, "Na jazz? Abi e get trick?" The queue dey look the menu with new eye.

Why the first person wey order pearl milk tea die, but this one survive?

One guy for back dey count finger, dey mutter. Some dey try remember the rules. E be like say the answer dey hide for somewhere.

E be like say, if person die from one drink, the next time e go safe?

Everybody dey calculate for head. E no clear. Some dey look the girl, others dey look menu.

The eighth person, still dey fear, step forward.

E be like say him leg dey shake. He dey pray for under breath, carry one hand for chest.

"Hello, which drink you go like?"

The girl's voice calm. She shine her eye, dey wait.

"I go take pearl milk tea too."

He talk am with small hope, but the rest of us dey wait.

As we expect, hot iron ball finish am.

Wahala repeat. The iron ball burn him mouth, guy collapse. Everybody fear grip again.

The next set of people just enter another death circle.

Some dey try iced lemon water again. The shop girl dey switch between ice knife, hot iron, small axe. People dey drop like chicken.

Whether dem choose iced fresh lemon water again,

E no matter, the girl dey ready. Death just dey dance for her hand.

Or any new drink,

If you like choose coconut shake, even that one fit be trap. People no dey survive.

All of them still die for the girl hand.

Shop floor don full with body, blood dey flow reach my shoe.

Within minutes, dead body don full the shop front.

People dey try look away, but eyes dey drag go front. The queue dey short now, only few remain.

E be like say na hell dey here.

If hell get branch for earth, na here we dey. The smell, the scream, everything heavy.

As the girl dey reach my turn, my breath just dey fast.

I dey pray for my mind. "God, abeg!" My body dey cold, hand dey sweat.

E be like say I fall inside freezer.

I dey shiver, teeth dey knock each other. I wan run but I dey remember the rule.

How person go order milk tea for here?

For my mind, I dey reason if I fit just beg her. But I remember say no fight, no plea.

Where the survival chance dey?

If hope dey, e dey hide. My mind dey run marathon. People for back dey whisper, dey reason their own.

How I go escape this girl hand?

I dey remember my family, dey pray inside mind. My leg wan fail me.

Before I fit reason am, the guy wey dey front of me step out.

The guy tall, wear glasses. He no dey shake like the rest of us. He just look the girl straight.

He stand for front of the girl.

The girl no even blink. Her eyes clear like river for dry season.

Unlike everybody wey dey panic, this guy just calm like water.

He adjust him glasses, look the girl wey dey smile.

He no dey fear. I dey wonder whether na him dey control this place.

"You... which milk tea you go like drink?" she ask.

Her question long pass the others. The guy just dey count him finger for air, like say e dey do mathematics.

I see as the guy count him fingers, then look the menu.

He count, pause, then smile. Na so I dey curious.

Finally, he point for one corner.

He just use one calm voice say, "Bobo Crunchy Sweet Fruit Tea."

I shock when I hear am.

I dey look menu—na that one even dey bottom. E no fine for poster, na why nobody dey pick am.

Ah ah?

For life and death matter, na that kind funny name he choose?

People for back dey whisper, dey shake head. Me sef dey look am like mumu.

But as surprise catch us, the girl just smile, bring out the receipt.

She no bring knife, no bring hot iron. Just pass receipt and cup of tea.

"Congrats, you don buy finish."

Her voice come soft, like say na friend she dey talk to.

The guy with glasses nod. "Thank you."

He no even look back, just carry him drink, waka calmly go corner.

He waka go one side, still calm.

E cross leg, dey sip him drink like say na nothing. My respect for am increase.

My head wey already scatter, confuse more.

I dey reason whether na juju or na sense this guy get. I dey try connect the dots.

This guy no dey form. E be like say he don solve the puzzle.

For Naija, person wey sabi road na king. I dey pray make I decode wetin he see.

But me, I still no understand why Bobo Crunchy Sweet Fruit Tea na the answer.

I dey whisper to myself, dey look menu. E be like say clue dey hide somewhere.

As I dey stand, the girl give me small smile, show me the big menu.

Her teeth still dey shine. She dey look me with that "your turn" kind eye.

Like say na death sentence, she talk:

Her voice deep, the words long. I dey count am for head.

"Hello, which drink you go like buy?"

I dey count the words. Na so six words. I dey scan menu dey find drink wey match. I count her words, count the drink names. E be like say na this be the code.

Fear just rush me.

Sweat dey my palm, heart dey beat. I dey pray for my mind, dey remember that guy with glasses.

The wahala dey my front—I wan survive but I no know where to start.

I dey count words, dey pray make I no miss. I fit see people dey look me, dey hope say I go survive.

As my head dey spin, I remember the guy with glasses, how he count him fingers.

Hope begin shine small. I dey thank God say I observe.

Na so one idea just flash for my head.

I dey scan, my eye sharp. E be like say God just drop sense for my head.

I rush scan the menu, check and check, then give my answer:

With small voice, I talk, "Zhengshan Xiaozhong Black Tea."

The girl smile, reach under counter.

I dey hold my breath. Her hand slow this time.

Few seconds later, receipt land for my hand.

She pass am with small wink. My chest free, I fit breathe again.

"Congrats."

She nod, I nod back. Everybody dey look me, some dey whisper, dey reason if I get the code.

My mind just free, I sigh long, my leg almost fail me.

Relief rush my body. If not say people dey look, I for kneel thank God.

I nearly fall for ground.

I catch myself on counter. One woman help hold my elbow. "You dey okay?" she whisper. I just nod.

I guess am right.

I dey thank God say my head correct. The sense dey simple, but na tension dey hide am.

The survival chance dey our front since.

For Naija, answer dey show, but fear dey cover person eye. Na so e be here.

No drink wey always safe.

Every drink fit be trap. No trust anything for this shop.

No drink wey always deadly.

Even the one wey kill fit save you next time. Na to shine your eye.

The answer hide for the girl mouth.

Her question dey set trap. Na her words be key.

She dey smile like robot, but every time she talk, the number of words dey change.

I dey remember each line, dey count for my head. The answer na simple mathematics.

Na to pick the drink wey get the same number of words as her question.

I dey whisper am for myself, dey nod. My mind dey clear now.

For the first person, she ask, "Which drink you go like buy?"

Na six words. The person for fit count, but fear blind am.

The answer suppose be six words.

Na why some people survive, others no. The code dey there, just shine eye.

So, the person wey choose pearl milk tea die.

Pearl milk tea na only three words. The trap set well.

But when she talk, "Order one," na then pearl milk tea turn correct.

"Order one"—two words. Pearl milk tea—three words. Wait, e fit be na number, or maybe position? E dey twist, but the guy with glasses sabi.

So the girl survive.

The code na to match the number. E simple, but wahala plenty.

The guy with glasses wey dey count fingers dey try show us: to survive, count the words.

Na so. I dey thank am for my mind. Some people get sense.

As I reason am, I just shiver. If not for him, I for don die since.

My legs still dey shake, but hope dey. I dey reason how many more shops remain.

But as the rule talk, I no fit tell anybody the shop secret after I buy.

If I leak am, na wahala. I dey pray make the rest dey sharp like me.

How many people go fit pick the clue and survive, na only God know.

For Nigeria, sense dey save person, but na only those wey dey observe dey see clue. The rest? Only God fit help.

As I comot from the shop, I see the guy wey help me dey sip him Bobo Crunchy Sweet Fruit Tea. He nod give me.

He dey smile, eyes gentle. For this kind place, e still fit dey calm.

"You don see how to survive, abi?"

His voice soft, but e sharp. I dey nod fast.

I nod quick. "Yes. Thank you."

I fit see relief for his face. E be like say he dey happy another person survive.

"You sharp."

He smile again. For this kind place, to see person wey get sense dey rare.

He smile, stretch hand give me. "The rules no talk say we dey compete. I wan find teammate make we join head, increase our chance. You go join me make we clear this wahala together?"

I surprise. For Naija, even for trouble, person go dey find better padi. I nod, happy say I no dey alone.

"Of course." As I remember how he perform, I shake him hand sharp. "My name na Eze Chibuike."

We grip hand, do that Naija snap handshake—like say e go transfer courage.

"Bashiru."

He flash teeth. His grip strong, e warm. I dey glad I meet am.