Chapter 4: Warmth in the Dark
Julian was shaking, screaming like he was losing his mind: "They want to kill me! Alex wants to kill me!" His words echoed off the walls, raw and desperate. I rushed to his side, wrapping my arms around him.
He was terrified, furious, and desperate. I held him tight, rocking him back and forth like my mom used to do for me.
So, I poured him another glass of milk and added some sleeping pills. It was the only way I could think to help. I watched him drink, guilt gnawing at my gut.
Julian fell asleep. His breathing slowed, body relaxing in my arms. I brushed the hair from his forehead, whispering soft words.
Before drifting off, he held my hand and said, "Big dummy, don’t go. Watch me sleep." His grip was weak, but insistent. I nodded, promising to stay.
I said, "Okay." My voice was gentle, full of things I couldn’t say out loud.
But Julian still wasn’t at ease. The meds made him drowsy, but his mind was still on edge. Every now and then, he’d force his eyes open to ask, "Big dummy, are you there?"
Each time, I squeezed his hand, whispering, “I’m here. Not going anywhere.”
All I could do was hold him in my arms, put his hand on my chest. His fingers curled against my skin, searching for comfort. I pressed my lips to his hair, hoping he could feel how much I cared.
Julian slept soundly then. His breathing evened out, face softening in sleep. I stayed by his side until morning, watching over him like a guardian angel.
He always sleeps like this lately. It’s become our routine—me, Julian, and the darkness. I don’t mind. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to anyone.
It’s like my chest has some kind of magic hypnotic power. Maybe it does. Or maybe Julian just needs someone to hold onto. Either way, I’m not letting go.