Chapter 1: Sickness After Heartbreak

After I caught my ex-girlfriend cheating, I picked up a strange sickness. Since that day, my body and spirit no gree rest—na wahala every night.

Omo, the thing hit me like arrow from village people—seriously. As I dey look her and the useless boy wey she dey cheat with, something inside me just break, like say cold zobo pour for my heart—sharp, bitter, no peace. My body begin act one kind; even the way I dey see women change, like say jazz dey involved.

Women no longer interested me—except for virgins. Only virgins could make my body itch, make my mind restless. Old women for compound go say, "If you see man wey dey pick beans one by one, na curse dey chase am."

Some people for street go say na village people hand, or maybe na jazz wey dem run for my head. If I near any other woman, na as if breeze blow my spirit comot—no feelings, nothing. But if na virgin, na wahala. My body go dey shake like say NEPA bring light for thunderstorm.

So I started waka up and down the world of romance, always looking for innocent, naive girls.

Na so my waka start. My eyes dey always scan everywhere—market, church, even bank queue. As I dey waka, I dey watch who get that innocent look, who dey quiet pass, who no too dey loud for group.

E no easy, I no go lie. The thing dey tire person.

But this time, wahala don jam me.

Omo, no be small. As I dey shine my eye, I jam kasala wey pass my power. This one na proper gbege, not those small small play I dey do before.

My new girlfriend ticked all my boxes, but she was too old-school.

Ifunanya make sense well—beauty, brains, innocence. But e get as she stubborn. All those things wey dey work for other girls no dey move her. The babe too dey hold body, too dey do like old woman.

I tried everything I fit think of, until one day I realised—maybe her useless gambler papa fit help me.

My mind reason one kind. I say make I try reach her papa—maybe na that one go give me leg enter. Na so street boys dey talk, if road block, find another way pass.