Chapter 5: Shame and Snapchat

I still dey shock when the police wey go check soakaway return.

Their uniform dirty small, one even dey wipe hand for handkerchief. Officer Musa look dem, wait.

Dem just shake head. "We check everywhere for the lecture building. Nothing dey."

Another officer point finger at me, vex. "This boy dey use us catch cruise."

I dey try talk, but the man no gree. E face show say dem don tire for my matter. I dey feel shame, people dey gather for door dey look me like say my head no correct.

My roommate Yusuf laugh, "E don tey wey e dey act like this—always dey lost for him own world. Officer, na big mumu."

Yusuf voice loud, e dey use style shine for crowd. Na so people dey take run mouth for Naija, once person fall hand.

"True talk! Dey talk say finger dey inside puff-puff and magic toilet—he don lie tire, e come dey believe am!" Seyi, another roommate, join mouth.

The whole class burst laugh.

One girl dey snap me for Snapchat, her friend dey laugh dey type caption. Some people dey snap with phone, some dey whisper. Shame just dey catch me. My eyes dey red, but I no fit cry for public. Officer Musa face don dark. He stop them and face me. "Kunle, true or not, you must follow us go station."

I no even fit argue. For my mind, I dey pray make my mama no hear am. Dem carry me reach police station. Officer Musa sit for my front, dey question me:

"Talk true, why you do am?"

Me sef dey confuse. How everything take reach like this?

I dey think, dey try remember every step. The day just turn upside down. Na all illusion be this?

But everything just too real.

If na fake, why I still dey taste those puff-puff for my mouth?

Something no pure for here.

I dey check my tongue, try spit for ground. My mind dey turn, my head dey knock. Officer Musa dey watch me as I keep quiet, him face dey tight. "Kunle, no fear. You just make fake report, but you no get record before. If you cooperate, we go run am soft."

For my mind, I dey beg, 'God, abeg, make e pass.' I just wan commot for here, but na truth I talk—as I remember am.

I know say if I talk say na lie, dem fit free me quick. But I no fit deceive myself.

I dey look Oga Musa eye, try hold my ground. "Oga Musa, everything wey I talk na true. I no lie. I just no understand how e take turn out like this..."

As I talk, tears dey rush my face.

Real Naija tears—man no suppose cry, but e choke. My hand dey shake. The other officers dey look me like say I don kolo.

"Call psychologist," Officer Musa order.

As he talk, people dey look me through glass. One small nurse dey peep. "I no craze!" I panic, try struggle, but my body no gree. Suddenly, one idea flash my mind:

My heart dey pound, my voice sharp. "The puff-puff shop! Yes! Make una check am! E no possible say one person go get that kind meat. If dem use person do puff-puff, I no fit chop everything. Una go see something!"

Officer Musa bang table. "Enough! We no get time for your games! Why we go check that shop—because of your prank?"

His palm loud for table, everywhere still. My body dey vibrate, but nobody dey believe me. For Naija, if you too talk, dem go say you dey lie.

"If you talk true, na one thing. If we catch you, na another. Reason am!"

He wan commot. Na that time my phone light up for table.

Everybody pause, look the screen. Another message from that clown avatar.

This time, na picture of shirt—chest side don tear, blood everywhere.

Small caption under am: [Na my shirt be this. E dey outside back wall of puff-puff shop.]

For my mind, cold catch me. My eye wide. "Na Femi shirt be that!" I shout.

Officer Musa and the other police look each other. For that moment, nobody talk. Outside, I hear person dey call azan for mosque. I swallow spit, dey pray make everything clear soon. This Naija, anything fit happen.

But as the muezzin voice fade, my phone vibrate again. This time, the message just read: [Next time, no chop stranger puff-puff.] My blood run cold.