Chapter 1: Madam Cash Madam

After I die, every year Tobi go dey burn plenty hell money for me.

You know as e be—person just dey chop life for spirit land, dey flex like Lekki big girl. For every bundle of that spirit money Tobi burn, e be like my own birthday—spirit jollof dey, nkwobi full ground, palm wine flow like say tomorrow no dey. We dey throw ogbonge parties, bigger than any Lagos owambe. Some spirits dey surprise say person like me fit dey run things, but dem no know say na because I get correct person for human side.

Because of that, I begin dey enjoy big life for spirit land.

I no dey do like small madam, na proper madam I be for there. Even Baba Orun self dey hail me sometimes, call me Madam Cash Madam, say I too dey enjoy. I dey buy anything my eye like—spirit gold, correct wrapper, even dey dash some small small spirits change. Na so the matter sweet reach.

But one day, the money stop.

As that money stop ehn, everywhere dull. No more shayo, no more party. Na only breeze and small spirit mosquito dey disturb person. I go dey wait every year for Tobi money like say I dey wait alert from bank.

I wait tire, I try enter him dream like old witch, but e no gree see me. Last last, I gats accept say the guy don forget me.

For night, I go dey waka round, dey try send small sign for am. I even try touch am small for dream, whisper my name for him ear, but the boy head strong pass ogbono. I tire.

Since I no sabi save, just dey use money anyhow to maintain my former lifestyle, I come dey owe the spirit realm tens of billions.

Spirit land no be place wey you fit owe anyhow o! Every spirit dey calculate, dem dey write receipt. All my flex turn wahala. I begin dey dodge creditor spirits, even Baba Orun start to dey look me one kain.

Out of vex—true vex o—I come back to life.

The kain vex wey catch me eh, if to say na market, I for scatter tray! I just tell myself, 'Ngozi, you no go gree. Person wey flex for Lagos no go let spirit realm disgrace am.'