Chapter 9: Confessions at 9:30

08

“Aubrey, look at the campus confession wall.” My roommate sent me a message, I opened it to see Lillian’s public confession on the anonymous Instagram page everyone follows—Boise State Confessions. She even declared that tonight at 9:30, she’d confess to Derek face-to-face on the track. She invited everyone to witness her love. What kind of witness!

A few words felt like June hail, hurting my heart. Even though I went back to the dorm and pretended not to care, Derek’s lack of reply finally broke me. I secretly limped along with the crowd to the track to watch the show. People were already live-streaming, someone shouted “Set your timestamps!” Even if I give up, I have to see it with my own eyes.

The track was already packed, everyone wanting to witness the golden couple. Lillian wore a body-hugging dress and high heels that flattered her figure. Very similar to my first appearance in front of Derek. But the difference is, I was disguised, which caught Derek’s attention. She was naturally like that. My own heels had sunk into the track turf that day; now the cold metal bleachers pressed into the backs of my legs as I watched.

I looked down at my flat body, frustrated and angry at my lack of curves. Derek… must like that, right? Otherwise, why did he grab me that day? Normally, he wouldn’t care if my head fell off, let alone a wig. Drowning in insecurity and regret, before the show started, I dragged my battered body back to the dorm.

Extreme sadness and physical exhaustion. I got sick. When I woke up, I had a 101-degree fever, scaring my roommate into nearly calling 911. “What time is it?” My voice was hoarse and scary. It was after midnight, Student Health Services was closed, and I felt like a wrung-out towel.

My worried roommate instantly turned into Tanya, wanting to take me to get my throat checked. “Madam, Tanya will take you to check your throat now.” I wanted to hit her, but had no strength. Could only let her mess around.

When we finally got downstairs, we saw Derek waiting below. “Why didn’t you answer or reply?” Only then did I remember I’d fallen asleep after coming back last night. Didn’t even check my phone.

“I didn’t see.” As soon as I spoke, Derek frowned. “Why did you catch a cold?” I shook my head, meaning I didn’t know. Kidding! I can’t say I was lovesick, right? If that got out, how could I face the athletics department? How could I face the shot put world? Wouldn’t that shame us athletes?

“Forget it, I’ll take you to the hospital.” Saying that, Derek gently took my wrist—warm, steady—and hurried toward the campus gate. Because I’d twisted my ankle yesterday and he walked too fast, I couldn’t keep up. My whole foot was hurting. Sensing my discomfort, Derek stopped, squatted down, and looked at my swollen foot.

“What happened to your foot?” “Fell.” Derek took a deep breath and scolded, “I just didn’t see you for a day, how did you end up like this?”

It was fine not to mention yesterday, but now I was even angrier. I wanted to ask about the result, but my words came out sarcastic, “Didn’t see me yesterday because you went to hear someone else’s confession, right?” Derek ignored my sarcasm and instead reached out, “Give me your phone.”

I didn’t know why, but obediently handed it over. He skillfully opened Messenger and found our chat. Suddenly I realized and tried to grab the phone back. But he was taller, and I couldn’t reach. My nickname for him was: Derek 💙.

Sure enough, seeing the nickname, Derek grinned. I was embarrassed and angry, saying it was my privacy. “Why be shy? Your feelings for me are obvious to everyone.”

Being called out like that made me even angrier. He clearly knows I like him so much, but won’t reject or accept me. Even lets others confess!

Before I could complain, he showed me the message he sent yesterday. “Come down!” Time: 9:30. I looked at him suspiciously, “You didn’t go?” “I don’t like her, why would I go?”

I quickly grabbed my phone and checked the confession wall to see what people said about the male lead not showing up. “Don’t look, let’s go to the hospital first.” I nodded obediently and trudged after him.

After a few steps, Derek turned around and sighed, “Meeting you is my bad luck.” He said it with a crooked smirk, more fond than frustrated. Then he squatted down, signaling me to get on his back. I pretended to be mock-offended, secretly thrilled.

“Don’t worry, I can carry a 400-pound hog at home.” Hearing that, I didn’t hesitate and jumped on his back. “Derek, your family really has such a heavy hog?” “Yeah.” “Why do you carry the hog?” “It twisted its ankle.” He added, “Family ranch outside Meridian—4-H jokes and all.”

....

If you can’t be funny, don’t try to be funny. I snorted and hugged him tighter.