Chapter 4: Broken Beads

That day, I break all my pride, remove my royal cloth one by one. Every layer dey heavy, as if na stone I dey carry for body.

Every cloth wey I remove, na my dignity dey go. Even the palace beads wey my papa give me, I drop am, my hand dey shake.

I let Musa Lawal press me for him lap, inside and out, play with me anyhow. I nor get choice, my spirit don leave body, only shame remain.

When I no fit bear am, I bite him arm, cry. When I dey touched, I call him name. Sometimes, the pain dey twist, turn to something I nor fit call with mouth.

But Musa Lawal always just dey cold, as if beauty no mean anything to am. E face nor dey change, even when I dey beg or shout.

No be say e no get that thing, e just no care about me. Na revenge dey move am, not love.

Even as eunuch, he no send me. For him mind, I be just another person to teach lesson.

Musa Lawal no love me, but he sabi how to disgrace me. The kind disgrace wey dey cut deep pass slap.

Na only to use am take revenge. E dey balance the scale, old wound dey find justice.

Pay me back for the shame wey I give am before. For palace, shame nor dey die—e dey sleep, dey wake for night.

The white cat crouch for him leg, dey look me, meow small. The cat eye dey follow me, as if e dey judge my pain.

Musa Lawal dey play with me like say I be cat. E fingers dey tickle my back, my shame dey grow.

He really disgrace me reach bone. For Musa Lawal lap, my pride scatter, and palace wall just dey watch, silent like grave.

I bite him arm until e bleed. Blood small, but e red for light. My teeth mark dey for him fair skin.

Musa Lawal pinch my cheek, touch my teeth, laugh. "Your teeth sharp o." E voice dey play, but e eye cold like night for Kano.

Tears full my face, I dey shake for him lap. My heart dey pound, my hand dey shake.

Musa Lawal eye dark. He leave me, but him mouth no get pity. E nor know mercy.

"You no fit bear am? You soft pass moi moi." E talk am like joke, but my chest dey cut.

He dey compare me to cat. The white cat rub my leg, as if e understand my wahala.

I just shut up, bite him finger. Anger dey burn my mouth.

Musa Lawal no move, let me bite until blood drop. E dey steady, nor even blink.

Him other hand dey rub my hair gently. The touch dey soft, but my pride nor gree let me rest.

"You too like to bite person. One day, I go break those your sharp teeth." Musa Lawal smile small, but warning dey for the words.