Chapter 7: The Weight of Hate

Later, fight between me and Sani Umar come worse. Palace dey shake, guards dey whisper, elders dey take side.

My own steward, Bello, drown. The news spread for palace like wildfire.

Bello serve me for years. When I dey play with Umar Musa as pikin, na him dey cover me. Him smile dey bright, him laugh dey loud.

He sabi press my belle. If I chop too much, na him dey help me. Sometimes, na him dey hide me from my mama slap.

But Bello die for Musa Lawal hand. My chest dey pain me anytime I remember.

Bello sabi swim. He climb from pond three times, every time Musa Lawal kick am back. Last time, he no come out again. Palace people dey whisper, some say na juju, some say na accident.

I hate Musa Lawal. The hate thick, e choke me for throat.

Hate am so much I no fit sleep. Every night, Bello face dey appear for my dream.

I use my papa power, transfer Musa Lawal come Jasmine Palace, flog am, grab him collar, ask why he kill. My hand dey shake, voice dey crack, but I nor stop.

Musa Lawal laugh small. "Because he block Second Highness way." E mouth tight, eye cold like stone for stream.

I slap am. The sound loud, echo for corridor.

"True loyal dog for Sani Umar." My mouth bitter, every word dey burn my tongue.

"Palace dey talk say you be Sani Umar bed servant. Before I no believe, now I see say I don overrate you." I spit the words, as if e go wound am.

I step on him wounded body. "Even if you no get that thing, you fit still play?" My anger dey blind me, mouth dey run like tap.

"Tell me, how you dey serve Sani Umar?" I dey provoke am, want make e vex, but Musa Lawal steady.

Musa Lawal let me step on am, bear the pain, laugh small. "Your Highness dey jealous?" E voice low, smile dey hide for mouth.

That question pain me. My heart twist. I nor expect am.

I vex, kick am away. My leg dey shake, anger nor gree cool.

I use wicked word hide my own pain. Na only way I sabi take cover my shame.

Me, prince—make I kneel beg servant wey no get heart for small love?

"Jealous?" I shout again.

"Na only disgust dey my mind." I talk, but my heart dey bleed.

"If Royal Brother fit bear am, you wey no get root, you dey enjoy? No shame catch you?" I throw insult, hope say e go hurt.

I force fake smile, my eye red, full of hate as I press down, torture Musa Lawal as I like. Pain dey sweet small, but e dey eat my soul.

I want make am hurt. I want make am hate. I want make am suffer like me.

"I give you chance to be human, you refuse. Then be good dog for me." My words heavy, echo for corridor.

Musa Lawal stay for Jasmine Palace one year and half. I pour all my hate and anger for am. Even servants dey fear come near us.

He no talk, just dey endure. E nor show pain, nor beg, just dey waka like shadow for palace.

Till dem transfer am go Main Palace, to serve my papa. News spread, some dey happy, some dey fear for me.

Later, Musa Lawal climb, become my papa favorite, take over Eastern Quarters, become chief steward, fit write king order. Palace dey shake, old men dey nod head, say palace never see person like am.

After my papa die, Musa Lawal support Sani Umar, leave me for ground. I nor fit believe, but power dey move fast for this place.