Chapter 6: Old Wounds, Old Bonds

Musa Lawal no always be eunuch. The story of palace dey long, everybody sabi part of am, but no one fit talk am like me.

Na Minister of Justice, Alhaji Umar, pikin—him name na Umar Musa. For Kano, Umar family dey respected, their house big, fence high, goats nor dey cross.

At eight, he write long poem, king praise am say "no be ordinary pikin," pick am as companion for my big brother, the Crown Prince. Palace people dey hail am, old women dey pray for am.

When I be five, Umar Musa thief my sugar cane; six, he carry me go thief bird egg; seven, he use sugar toy make me call am "big brother"; nine, he make me catch the most expensive fish for palace go roast. We dey run up and down, laughter dey follow us like butterfly.

My mama vex, her head tie scatter, drag my ear, shout, "No near that Umar family devil again!" Her voice loud, her slippers dey fly. But pikin head dey stubborn.

So Umar Musa teach me how to climb wall, pass dog hole. We go hide for garden, share small meat, laugh until our belle pain us.

When I reach thirteen, Crown Prince plan coup, dem kill am. Umar family join, dem say na traitor. Tears full palace, even guard dey wipe eye.

All the Umar family branch, dem clear dem. Na only Umar Musa survive, enter palace as eunuch—change name to Musa Lawal. The pain for him eye deep, but him back straight, chin up.

No be me save Umar Musa, na my second brother, Sani Umar. Sani Umar gentle, him voice low, but when e beg for person, even wind dey quiet.

Sani Umar kneel for cold ground half day for king hall to beg for Musa Lawal life. E weak body even worse, e get sickness since then. Servants dey whisper, say cold enter him bone that day.

Musa Lawal say e for prefer die than make Sani Umar kneel for am, suffer for life. Na big pain, big shame, big love hide for that matter.

Musa Lawal care for Sani Umar. E nor hide am, even blind person fit see.

But that day...

That day, me too kneel for Jasmine Palace, day and night, knock my head until blood, beg my mama to let me go beg for Musa Lawal life. My forehead get scar, even till today.

But nothing change. Palace rule nor dey bend for pikin tear.

Musa Lawal enter Sani Umar Zaria Palace, turn stranger to me. The wall between us thick pass palace fence.

I think say Musa Lawal dey blame me say I no save am. I try explain for palace corridor, find way make dem transfer am to Jasmine Palace. Every time I pass, I dey peep, hope say e go look my side.

But Musa Lawal no gree. E dey dodge my eye, dey waka fast.

He say he wan stay with Sani Umar. Loyalty for him heart, nor be mouth e dey talk am.

He say, "Fourth Highness get everything. Second Highness no get anything. I go stay with am." Musa Lawal voice calm, as if e dey read law for court.

Out of all my privilege, na only Musa Lawal no be my own. That one pain me pass all.

He give wetin suppose be my own to Sani Umar. Na only me nor fit claim am.