Chapter 1: Public Shame, Private Pain

After I finally divorce Shen Lianxu, everywhere online just dey scatter with celebration.

As I open my eyes, social media dey bubble like Oshodi market after fresh gist drop. People dey break down the matter with full energy, some even do TikTok join my picture with one funny song. Even for my compound, that my neighbor wey sabi carry gist just dey eye me as she dey sweep her veranda—her radio low, but her mouth no get volume control. E be like everywhere I turn, people dey wait for me to react. E pain me small, but I just bone face, like say I dey act one big Nollywood film.

All the solo fans dey yarn: "My guy don finally shake off Zainab, that witch. Joy everywhere, make we celebrate!"

As I dey scroll, na so I dey hear my matter dey waka like gala for traffic. Person even put my old photo with bad filter, jazz emoji join. #ZainabRest even dey trend under one post, people dey retweet am like say na election result. Na wa o. Dem forget say I be human being, feelings still dey my body.

CP shippers no gree rest: "If no be say Zainab force marriage that year, my guy and Amara for don get pikin wey dey buy pure water now."

Somebody even write for comment: "Abeg, Amara fit born twins sef. See as dem match!" I wan vex, but wetin man go do? Na Naija internet, everywhere na cruise.

Career fans come add: "If no be Zainab wey tie am down, my guy for don win AMVCA till e hand begin pain am."

One person even dey tag people, dey compare who suffer pass. I just shake head—na so life be sometimes.

I just dey read all these comments, dey laugh and dey cry together.

Sometimes, the laughter dey come from inside your pain. I even carry phone, record my own face—dey laugh, dey cry, I no even sabi why. E funny, e pain, na everything join.

So, without me, Shen Lianxu life go just dey shine?

This kain realization hit me like early morning harmattan. I just dey reason say, na so everything simple reach? After all the suffer I follow do?

So who I be now, the person wey squeeze body with am for small boys’ quarters that year?

That question just dey echo for my mind like when NEPA take light for night and the whole area quiet. I never sabi if this meeting go heal old wound or scatter am finish.