Chapter 7: University of Ibadan Showdown

First day for school, my parents suppose follow me.

Dem no want make I waka alone. Helicopter dey ready. Papa book hotel for Ibadan.

Dem even arrange helicopter.

Dem want make my entry grand. People for area dey talk say big man pikin dey come.

My mama arrange twenty set of fine fine school cloth for me overnight.

She buy all the latest style—lace, Ankara, jeans, everything. My box full, e heavy.

But before day break, papa phone blow.

As early morning reach, papa phone dey ring nonstop.

“Chairman, Hassan block our goods for Apapa port!”

Logistics wahala start. Enemy dey show power. Papa dey shout for phone.

My papa throw Five Alive for ground: “Nonsense! That goat!”

Drink scatter floor. Housemaid dey rush clean.

My mama day no good too.

Her own wahala for mall. She dey find correct shoe for my send-off.

She dey find shoe for mall, Sade come with socialites, talk: “I want this shoe—wrap am.”

The woman buy the shoe mama dey eye. Drama begin.

She face my mama, smile: “Sorry o, if you want, I fit dash you.”

Na mockery smile. She dey form big girl, dey show off.

My mama vex, hand dig palm. She send me voice note: “I need her dash? That mumu no know say her friends go soon collect her house, she dey form generous.”

Her voice sharp, dey tremble small. You go know say her blood dey hot.

“Baby, go register yourself. I wan tear that woman mouth.”

She dey plan new wahala. If not for me, na serious fight go happen.

I reply, “No go break your nail o.”

I dey tease her, make she cool down. For my mind, na so we dey survive.

If not, another drama go start for house.

For registration, I no gree senior help me, I drag my box by myself.

I want show say I dey strong, no need pity. Other freshers dey beg, but me—I dey waka solo.

As I turn enter tree road, I jam one tall, slim boy.

Na corner for campus, shade dey everywhere. Suddenly, I bump into boy, box nearly fall.

White shirt, black trouser, side face sharp.

His shirt clean, cloth dey iron, you go know say him na correct person.

Him face fine, like drawing.

If you look well, you go think say artist use ruler sketch am. Jawline sharp.

I squint.

My eye narrow—who this boy be? E resemble…

Yinka.

My heart beat skip. Na the same family enemy.

He notice, look up.

He slow down, eye dey check me. E dey reason whether to talk.

Our eye jam. Him face shake small, then calm. He nod me, waka go.

For that short moment, you go see say tension dey. But na him calm pass. He just nod, waka.

First day, Yinka scatter confession wall for campus.

If you check social media, na only Yinka picture everywhere. Girls dey scream, boys dey hate.

Under ‘Freshman Heartthrob,’ all his picture full everywhere:

Even people wey never see am for class, don dey save him photo.

Him side for library window, dey read, sleeve roll up, wrist white like bread;

Girls dey zoom, dey screenshot. Him wrist na topic for group chat.

Him back as he jump for basketball, shirt dey fly, waist sharp like blade.

Gym full, people dey snap video. Even coach dey shake head.

Comment section mad:

People dey drop mad comment, dey use slang, dey drag for reply.

“Three minutes! I need this guy full gist!”

“Senior abeg, shift! Freshers first!”

E reach point, senior dey vex, dey plan how to block him shine.

I hiss, dey scroll phone, click student union basketball announcement.

I no send. I dey find next thing wey go make sense for me.

Next day, team practice, girls full everywhere.

Gym dey hot. Girls dey form, dey laugh loud. Some dey carry towel, others dey chew gum.

Yinka, as fresher, enter, throw two three-pointer. Scream nearly break gym.

Coach mouth wide. Even security dey clap. Freshers dey jump.

I waka go, carry bottle ice water.

I position for where everybody go see me. I dey plan my move.

In front of everybody, I reach him.

Eyes dey for me, gym quiet small. I stretch hand, voice sweet, "You wan water?"

“You wan water?” I smile.

Smile dey my face, but my plan dey my hand. Everybody dey watch, dey reason my intention.

Na that bottle I put double laxative.

If you know, you know. My own style no dey fail.

Yinka lift shirt, use am clean sweat, abs shine for light.

People dey snap, dey whisper. Some girls dey chew gum so hard, dem forget to swallow.

He look me, eye land for bottle, smile.

He dey suspect, but him still form cool. Him eye shine, mouth corner bend.

“Thanks.”

He collect bottle, open am—

He twist cap, hand steady. Everyone dey wait.

—pour am for head.

He pour the whole water for him head, body dey shine, sweat dey drip.

Ice water run for jaw, pass Adam apple, soak shirt.

Girls dey scream. Some dey wipe face, dey fan body. The whole gym dey hot.

Everybody shout.

Na so everywhere scatter. Boys dey hail, girls dey cry. Even coach laugh.

Girls for back dey shout, "God abeg!" One even faint small.

“That bad girl give him water! Why I no try? God punish these my legs!”

Dem dey blame their own shyness, dey curse their own destiny.

“She fine, but na attention she dey find. See as she dey show herself.”

Some dey run mouth, dey act like say dem no jealous.

“Trouble maker, e show for face.”

For campus, once dem label you wahala, everybody dey talk.

I turn, give dem sweet smile: “Yes o, na wahala I be. Una dey queue to do charity water?”

My voice loud, my smile wicked. Some people begin fear, others dey laugh.

Silence.

Nobody fit reply. Dem just dey look. For campus, na who get mind dey win.

I grab sports drink from one girl, pour am for dustbin.

The girl mouth open, but she no talk. Na silent warning—no try me.

“We all sharp for here, abeg, no dey form innocent.”

I dey talk for all of us. No dey fake, no dey act. For campus, na only real people dey survive.

I wink Yinka, see as him eye flash, pour second bottle of laxative water for him limited edition shoe.

My eye sharp, my hand quick. Before he fit react, shoe soak. Him mouth hang, but he no talk.

Yinka freeze, look him wet shoe.

He dey shock, dey try reason if na mistake. But him know say I no dey play.

I tilt head, smile: “Sorry o, e slip.”

I yarn am with style, eye still dey shine. For my mind, wahala just start.

I waka go.

I leave stage for him. My step sure, my head high. Everybody dey whisper, my gist go fly for hostel.